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Game of Thrones Season 1 Mark Addy, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean, Harry Lloyd, Emilia Clarke, Michelle Fairley, Jason Momoa, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, Iain Glen, Rory McCann, Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Lena HeadeyGame of Thrones (Season 1): several noble families with royal ties feud over the right to rule all seven kingdoms in a medieval-ish fantasy epic. One year prior, Spartacus was balls deep in rumpypumpy and graphic violence, which felt like it was pushing boundaries; then someone in HBO said had said: “lets take Spartacus as a starting point, then add as much over the top sensational stuff as you can. 3, 2, 1… GO GO GO!”  GoT is loaded with full frontal nudity (sausages, chuffs, and udders), blood, gore, prostitutes, lesbians, and as much offensive language as censors allow; not to mention the taboos like breastfeeding and incest being pretty major plot points. Whilst these add to the show’s notoriety, it detracts from the Rome-like inter-weaving political storylines; continually reminding you that it’s actually being pitched at teenage boys. Other than the odd stinker (Arya Stark!!) the cast are generally decent; although different characters giving their roles different levity levels – from scenery chewing (King) to borderline comedic (Bronn). Peter Dinklage is the one actor that really sticks out from the vast ensemble – impressing and entertaining with his larger than life character. Due to the number of characters, families, locations and concurrent plots there’s a lot of dialogue-heavy slapdash whistle-stop history & exposition lectures between characters – some hit the mark better than others, but most are required. While there’s one big “Holy Shit” moment, Season One feels like a 10-hour teaser – promising better things to come; introducing white walkers (zombie-ish creatures), dragons, teeing up a war – but blatantly not following any of it through to anywhere near conclusion.

Score: 6/10

Game Of Thrones Season 1  Mark Addy, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean, Harry Lloyd, Emilia Clarke, Michelle Fairley, Jason Momoa, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, Iain Glen, Rory McCann, Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Lena Headey Game of Thrones Season 1 Mark Addy, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean, Harry Lloyd, Emilia Clarke, Michelle Fairley, Jason Momoa, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, Iain Glen, Rory McCann, Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Lena Headey

The awesome people that follow me on twitter will be familiar with #searchtermoftheday – a regular feature of the best searches that real people type in to real search engines, which (somehow) directs them to this site.

Unfortunately, Google have started encrypting their searches, meaning that the majority of search engine referrals are no longer known – so enjoy these while you can. Here are some of the greatest hits from the past few years. It should be obvious they they’re 100% genuine / real, because nobody could think them up…

Amusing / phrasing

  • devout ass
  • boobs all size abcdefgh
  • courtroom puns
  • stupid catface photos
  • movie with alot of action and tits
  • hats with special powers
  • james bond licensed chest wigs
  • unimaginable lust
  • Mark ROFLoMark ROFLO
  • jackie chan asian?
  • skid marks + mtv room raiders
  • monkey is a good pet?
  • blowjobs please
  • the fighter ugliest cast ever
  • give me a parafraph about jesus was a commie
  • pancakes are fucking gay
  • massive fannies
  • midget mechanics
  • someone please explain tree of life
  • chick fights boobs everywhere
  • boys bumming each other

Stupid Questions:

Weirdly specific

  • cartoon images of men who is going through menopause
  • japanese naked women on salarymen’s desks
  • first experience of going to the cinema adult style
  • big bouncy tits shot full of bullets by zombies
  • old tv show where a man has two personalities in one hes an assigned killer in the other hes a loving husband
  • big fake titties, guns & manly shit that’s gonna piss your girlfriend off
  • “unique is young, full of energy and a bottom girl that loves big dicks on her men and the darker the better!”
  • write a short paragraph about your experience with your friend to go camping
  • adult foreign film from 1980s where fox hunters on horse back hunted nude women
  • the pornsite jay was using in the inbetweeners movie
  • My parents went to Miami and all I got was molested by my neighbor
  • cannibal story of young girls being fucked milked then gets crushed up

Saught-after celebrity body parts (these are around 40% of incoming hits):

Fetish / Sexy-to-someone / Fapping

  • womenpigsex
  • horse penis
  • dogporn film
  • upskirts vintage martial arts girls
  • sumo sex
  • huge monster dildo shop
  • unthinkable penisNude Nuns Big Guns based on a true story
  • xxx rat torture
  • vibrator fight
  • pointy tits
  • penis biting gore movies
  • bikini clad bitches playing chess
  • women pig sexual
  • mega fuck slut masturbator
  • lara croft bound and gagged
  • http://www.madogasex.com
  • classic porn movie with rose in pussy
  • batman and catwoman get busy
  • bondage chess
  • kate beckinsale tied up
  • bizarre bestiality productions
  • why wank with ham?
  • jock strap stories
  • needles in tits movies
  • “assassin” “porn” “silencer”
  • tall moustached transvestites
  • cool big semi trucks and hot chicks
  • bouncing round breasts in horror thriller film
  • babes on horseback
  • pterodectyl porn
  • guys with huge nipples
  • smurf sex

 

What are your best search terms? And why are some people still allowed online?!?!