Piranha: (Piranha 3D – 2010) Spring break is ruined as an earthquake releases a massive school of 2 million year old cannibal super-piranhas into a party-lake!! The movie’s divided in to two parts: set up (nudity-fest and just enough gore) and bloodbath (gore-fest and just enough nudity). The cast is a who’s who of B-movie stars, all typecast and wafer thin characters; in saying that, Christopher Lloyd’s great fun, Ving Rhames is Ving Rames, Kelly Brook is ball-tighteningly hot and porn stars Gianna Michaels / Riley Steele also get their 3D lungs out – no complaints with any of that! The gore‘s decent enough; most of it is real effects so looks pretty good but the CGI is a bit rubbish and the underwater scenes look very dark with the 3D glasses on. The 3D itself is generally good if a tad sloppy – they clearly spent the most time on the buxom booty and a few cheap ‘poke outs’ and not enough time on the piranhas themselves, but on the whole it was decent. There’s a bunch of nice nods to Jaws, from the poster through to ‘the dolly shot’, when Brody realises what’s happening, and even the casting of Dreyfuss. My biggest complaint is that for the robbery extra cost of seeing a 3D flick it’s very short – although given that Piranha barely sustains itself for 75-80 minutes this may be a godsend! All-in Piranha’s everything you expect it to be: shallow and camp, but bulging with entertaining gore, red dye and constant nudity… what more could you want from a B-movie? Guilty pleasure of the summer.

Score: 4.5/10

  1. Dan said:

    Saw the trailer for this before Inception. I knew straight away it would be a load of rubbish.


  2. I like campiness especially when it involves gore. But I just have a sneaky feeling that I should wait and not pay for the extra fee. Meanwhile, I’ll entertain myself with reruns of “Jaws” and “Deep Blue Sea.” Maybe the “Piranha” pictures that came before.


    • Marc said:

      I’m with you on the campiness Franz. Here it was set to ultra high.

      I think that knowing what this was going in is the key to appreciating this. Intentionally bad from the get-go they used 3D as a way to make this already over the top film even more crazy. Exploitation in 3D? Perhaps bUt where as others would have tried to be too serious, this film had t fun and was able to laugh at itself. Also Alex Aja really pushed the limits of what can be done with 3D…including a scene no man wantes to think about…twice. God help me I loved it:P


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