Walkout: Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day: make-ups and break-ups are on the menu as a lot of famous people try to get lots of your bums on lots of seats. Genuinely, Ashton “Dude, where’s my talent?” Kutcher is so flat it’s like watching an inanimate object: a chair, a table, a wall – take your pick, they’d out-act him. It’s one of those lazy comedies that plays racial stereotypes for cheap comedy – including the classic ‘big black woman with an attitude’; obviously! For me, Queen Latifa is fast becoming my trusty hallmark for a shit film. The script must have been written by the Green Giant, it’s sooo corny (tedious, contrived and unrealistic dialogue) and the jokes are all poorly judged & timed. The only tolerable bits (limited to guys + lesbians) are Anne Hathaway in her scants, then talking on a phone-sex line!!! But it’s a PG sex-line though <SadFace>. Worse still, all of the best names – like Foxx – get the least time on screen, because they cost the most.

The Mrs and I braved an entire hour before we lost all faith in Hollywood, actors, integrity, humanity, the universe etc. Valentines day is cynical, insulting, money-grabbing and void of any entertainment. Whatever you do, do not watch this if you intend on some ‘adult sleeping’ afterwards, it will absolutely destroy your notions of love, and valentines day.

Alternative Plan: Early bed time.

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4 comments
  1. LOL! I’ve never seen “Valentine’s Day” but I HAVE seem the similarly vapid “New Year’s Eve”. :D Made me want to punch the stars for taking part in it… complete drivel…

    I can imagine this is the same thing, since they’re both Gary Marshall :(

    Like

  2. Yeah, I figured this was garbage. Thanks for confirming it!

    Like

    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      Couldn’t imagine this being your cup of tea!

      Like

  3. nasen75 said:

    Sounds like New Year’s Eve where the movie was just marketing itself on, “Look at all the famous people in this movie!” Was this movie’s poster also eaten up mostly by listing the movie’s extensive cast?

    Like

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