Cinema Code of Conduct

A trip to the cinema is supposed to be a joyous, escapist experience – we should all agree on this! Unfortunately these days going to see a film has been reduced to something you can only compare to a traumatic mugging.

First off, there’s the extortive pricing for even the most basic of tickets. Above that you’ll have to pay extra for films in 3D, and even more for the Roy Orbison glasses. If you’d like the classic bag o’ popcorn, nachos with fetid tube ‘cheese’, or a limp, lifeless hot dog to compliment your bucket of cola, these edibles make you dig so deep in to your pockets that you have to hold back the tears.

Then you’re confronted by one of the worker trolls in the multiplex, who’ll snatch up your ticket, and grunt / gesture towards a screen. If it’s busy and someone’s in your seat you must have that awkward conversation too. When you finally get to your seat – often stained, sticky and/or broken – you’d hope that you can relax and enjoy the feature.In an ideal world, this would be the case, however, in reality you have to put up with a list of terrible cinema etiquette and bad habits longer than the combined reels for the Matrix trilogy.

Recently two leading Doctors from the Big British Castle – Dr Simon Mayo and Dr Mark Kermode – along with the UK public, diagnosed the terrible symptoms of a trip to the cinema. They formulated a cure, in the form of the Wittertainment Cinema “Code of Conduct”

Thanks to Tyson for doing the groundwork in getting this out there through our blogs.

And hello to Jason Isaacs.

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3 comments
  1. Novroz said:

    I love your opening line, my opening line merely a copy-paste lines

    But, I read and reread your post…I couldn’t find your 11th rule.

    Like

  2. I love all of these. Except the shoes rule. Fuck shoes.

    Like

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