Tag Archives: Cinema Code of Conduct

What’s your favourite seat at the cinema, and why?

Anybody that goes to the cinema regularly will undoubtedly become a creature of habit. Whether it’s getting there just in time to miss the repetitive adverts or film-spoiling trailers, buying / bringing your favourite snack (must be a silent one), hogging your ideal parking place, hitting on unsuspecting student staff, sitting in your favourite block, row; or more specifically – that perfect seat. Even the finest critic in the country has his favourite seat, which reassures me somewhat. Here’s where my one is and why I love it.

Position: smack-bang in the middle of the back row, of the flat front section, and here’s why…

  • The high seat back blocks out most sounds from the tiered section behind, where everyone else is sitting. There’s also an aisle-length gap between you and the nearest person behind. Bliss.
  • There’s never anyone in front of you – unless the screen is unusually busy. This eliminates fidget, hat, afro, giant and mobile phone based distractions in view.
  • The screen looks enormous, like it should! What’s the point in sitting in the back row (unless you’re with a hussy!) where the screen takes up the same percentage in your field of vision as your TV would at home?!?! This is the cinema, it’s supposed to be massive!
  • You’re right next to the chest-thumping bass speakers underneath the screen, and the Dolby/THX sound design is optimized, coming from the front, sides and behind your seat. Meanwhile the hussy in the back row is only getting stereo sound.
  • As all other seats in this block are generally empty, essential toilet breaking is swift and effective, and you avoid the embarrassment of accidental lapdancing.
  • You don’t notice when the anti-piracy staff come in and do their rounds with the night-vision goggles – this always distracts and angers me more than it should – install a camera on the roof!
  • When the film ends, you’re right next to the doors and don’t have to wait for the token slow-mos to begin their epic descent from row J – swiftest exit in the screen.
  • Every wrinkle, hair, eyelash, scar, mole, shadow, surface, texture, button, background, minute detail is there… cinema screen resolution this close is absolutely unbeatable.

The only time this location doesn’t work is for 3D (it’s best to be in the middle of the screen’s height) and the only possible downside with my favourite seat is that people with bad necks or eyes may struggle to last the duration.

Feels like I’ve just given away a trade secret… which leaves me wondering, does anyone else have a preference when it comes to seating in the cinema, or is it just me being a total weirdo?! Feel free to comment, or ping back your own post.


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A trip to the cinema is supposed to be a joyous, escapist experience – we should all agree on this! Unfortunately these days going to see a film has been reduced to something you can only compare to a traumatic mugging.

First off, there’s the extortive pricing for even the most basic of tickets. Above that you’ll have to pay extra for films in 3D, and even more for the Roy Orbison glasses. If you’d like the classic bag o’ popcorn, nachos with fetid tube ‘cheese’, or a limp, lifeless hot dog to compliment your bucket of cola, these edibles make you dig so deep in to your pockets that you have to hold back the tears.

Then you’re confronted by one of the worker trolls in the multiplex, who’ll snatch up your ticket, and grunt / gesture towards a screen. If it’s busy and someone’s in your seat you must have that awkward conversation too. When you finally get to your seat – often stained, sticky and/or broken – you’d hope that you can relax and enjoy the feature.In an ideal world, this would be the case, however, in reality you have to put up with a list of terrible cinema etiquette and bad habits longer than the combined reels for the Matrix trilogy.

Recently two leading Doctors from the Big British Castle – Dr Simon Mayo and Dr Mark Kermode – along with the UK public, diagnosed the terrible symptoms of a trip to the cinema. They formulated a cure, in the form of the Wittertainment Cinema “Code of Conduct”

Thanks to Tyson for doing the groundwork in getting this out there through our blogs.

And hello to Jason Isaacs.