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Sharknado 2

March 14, 2016
Film Reviews
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Sharknado 2 The Second One Chainsaw Ian Ziering, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Tara Reid, Judd Hirsch, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, Perez Hilton, Kelly Osbourne,

Sharknado 2: The Second One – while promoting their new ‘How to survive a Sharknado’ book, Fin and his ex-wife April get caught up in an even bigger storm in New York City. Due to the runaway success of the first movie everyone wants a bite: it’s cameo city with a distracting number of ‘famous’ people clambering over each other for lines and gory deaths; the camera lingers on extras that feel like crowbarred in Z-list celebrities; and more cynically, some big brands have waded in NY Mets, Subway, The Today Show… On an unrelated note, an extremely large proportion of the cast have wrinkle-and-expression-free crazy facelift faces. It’s not all bad though: the effects have improved big time, the action is far more outrageous, and it feels more ambitious than the original – pushing the ‘Sharknado‘ idea further, and getting more mileage out of the concept. Despite continuing to break almost every continuity rule known to cinema – it’s surprisingly fun to watch and has a few laugh-out-loud moments, like the absurd shark info graphics on weather reports. Sharknado 2 is still a SyFy straight-to-dvd ‘film’ – the DVD even opens with a ‘Stonado’ trailer (replace hungry sharks with exploding stones!) – but it’s bigger, better, dumber, funnier, and more enjoyable than its predecessor.

Score: 4/10
B-movie Score: 7/10

Sharknado 2 The Second One Weather Stephanie Abrams Ian Ziering, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Tara Reid, Judd Hirsch, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, Perez Hilton, Kelly Osbourne,

Shark Deaths
– Home Run
– Taser
– Bat Impalement
– Broadsword
– Chainsaw’d in half
– Machine Gunned
– Stiletto’d
– Angry Mobbed
– Super-Soaker Flamethrower
– Umbrella’d
– Handgunned

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Sharknado

February 1, 2016
Film Reviews
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Sharknado Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, John Heard, Ian Ziering, Diane Chambers, Julie McCullough, Chuck Hittinger, Aubrey Peeples, Robbie Rist,

Sharknado: a freak storm is sucking sharks from the ocean and dumping them into flooded Los Angeles! You don’t watch a film called ‘Sharknado’ for its plot, cinematography, or effects… that being said, it would have been nice if the film tried! The normal shots look quite good, but the added “speshul” effects are piss poor – even basic stuff like rain looks bad; why would you not use real water!?! No tension or suspense is built up at any point; shots are disjointed and poorly cut together – everything ‘important’ to the ‘plot’ is shot as a close up, and quickly cut in and out – giving you no sense of scale, time, or location. Even silly details like the gang being chased up the street by a wave, but finding the time to individually winch an entire school bus of (50!?) kids and their driver to safety. Worst of all, it didn’t make much use of the actual ‘Sharknado’ – focusing instead on sharks swimming in flooded areas or just landing on people. The biggest distraction from all the mess isn’t even sharks; it’s Cassie Scerbo; a leggy short-shorts surf babe with a bikini / mesh top, who spends most of the runtime cocking a shotgun – as a male, this is a feasible distraction (I can only imagine American men getting a little light-headed.) There’s a few good quips, championed by “looks like that time of the month” as the guys stare at gallons of splooshing bloody water – a period joke lol. Despite a promising concept and wild title, Sharknado is more of the same from the company that brought us stuff like Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. It feels more like a weak drinking game or marketing exercise, than even a basic attempt to capitalise on the attention-grabbing title. Not the worst film I’ve ever seen, but could and should have been way better than it was.

Score: 3/10
B-movie Score: 5/10

Sharknado Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, John Heard, Ian Ziering, Diane Chambers, Julie McCullough, Chuck Hittinger, Aubrey Peeples, Robbie Rist

Shark Deaths

  • Compressed Air Canister
  • Pool Cue Stabbing
  • Bar Stool Smash
  • Shotgun (x4)
  • Chainsaw Split
  • Car Bumper Impalement
  • Pylon Blasting
  • Flaming Water (!!!)
  • Knife Attack
  • Internal Combustion

Weather Wars

December 11, 2011
Film Reviews
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Weather Wars (AKA Storm War): when his R&D funding is cut by the government a mad scientist teaches them a lesson by unleashing biblical weather on D.C. No ifs, buts or maybes, this is 100% a TV movie; it even fades to black every 10-15 minutes. Story wise, the premise is interesting, and there’s some heavy science to explain and back it up too; this is complemented with some Interesting family dynamics. There’s not much going on in the acting department; Stacy Keach goes mad and everyone else is competent at best. The SFX are pretty standard, but there’s not nearly enough weather, warring or destruction for a film called Weather Wars (with a dvd cover depicting flood/fire/lightening mayhem.) The story chugs along mechanically but falls flat with a messy ending that’s impossible to follow. I love a bit of cheesy b-movie, but even by the SyFy channel’s standards this is poor. For die-hard SyFy / TV Movie fans only.

Score: 1.5/10