Sharknado

Sharknado Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, John Heard, Ian Ziering, Diane Chambers, Julie McCullough, Chuck Hittinger, Aubrey Peeples, Robbie Rist,

Sharknado: a freak storm is sucking sharks from the ocean and dumping them into flooded Los Angeles! You don’t watch a film called ‘Sharknado’ for its plot, cinematography, or effects… that being said, it would have been nice if the film tried! The normal shots look quite good, but the added “speshul” effects are piss poor – even basic stuff like rain looks bad; why would you not use real water!?! No tension or suspense is built up at any point; shots are disjointed and poorly cut together – everything ‘important’ to the ‘plot’ is shot as a close up, and quickly cut in and out – giving you no sense of scale, time, or location. Even silly details like the gang being chased up the street by a wave, but finding the time to individually winch an entire school bus of (50!?) kids and their driver to safety. Worst of all, it didn’t make much use of the actual ‘Sharknado’ – focusing instead on sharks swimming in flooded areas or just landing on people. The biggest distraction from all the mess isn’t even sharks; it’s Cassie Scerbo; a leggy short-shorts surf babe with a bikini / mesh top, who spends most of the runtime cocking a shotgun – as a male, this is a feasible distraction (I can only imagine American men getting a little light-headed.) There’s a few good quips, championed by “looks like that time of the month” as the guys stare at gallons of splooshing bloody water – a period joke lol. Despite a promising concept and wild title, Sharknado is more of the same from the company that brought us stuff like Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. It feels more like a weak drinking game or marketing exercise, than even a basic attempt to capitalise on the attention-grabbing title. Not the worst film I’ve ever seen, but could and should have been way better than it was.

Score: 3/10
B-movie Score: 5/10

Sharknado Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, John Heard, Ian Ziering, Diane Chambers, Julie McCullough, Chuck Hittinger, Aubrey Peeples, Robbie Rist

Shark Deaths

  • Compressed Air Canister
  • Pool Cue Stabbing
  • Bar Stool Smash
  • Shotgun (x4)
  • Chainsaw Split
  • Car Bumper Impalement
  • Pylon Blasting
  • Flaming Water (!!!)
  • Knife Attack
  • Internal Combustion
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8 comments
  1. imustseemovie.com said:

    these movies are soo funny

    Liked by 1 person

  2. drhumpp said:

    I like low quality movies more than I probably should, but something just doesn’t feel right when they’re doing it on purpose. I get the feeling they’re running around screaming, “Look at us, we’re making a bad movie! Ha!”

    There must be a market for this kind of stuff, but it just doesn’t amuse me. Look at what an old grump I sound like!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      I agree. Corman style B-movies where everything’s done out of passion and for the audience are some of the best movie experiences you can have. Film like this on the other hand feel more cynical. SyFy churning out freak film after freak film for notoriety – hoping to strike gold like they did with this franchise. The “Look at us, we’re making a bad movie! Ha!” attitude – couldn’t have put it better myself!

      If you have a couple of million dollars budget, I’d rather see that go on modest physical effects over poor and cheap CGI any day.

      Liked by 1 person

      • drhumpp said:

        “If you have a couple of million dollars budget, I’d rather see that go on modest physical effects over poor and cheap CGI any day.”

        I’m with you all the way there. Russ Meyer made a comment once about how people aren’t funny when they’re trying to be. It worked great in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. It’s so over the top but everyone appears to be playing it straight. I think people get uncomfortable when they don’t know how they’re supposed to react.

        What do I know though? I’m not the demographic anyone is aiming for.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a confession: it’s one of my guilty pleasures to watch bad movies like this, and this one is so bad, it’s kind of good in its own way (they made sequels to it after all). What blew my mind is, a Sharknado is sort of a real thing, there are stories of fish being sucked up from the ocean and then falling on land.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      They had a scene like that in Fargo (TV Series) but it was more like a troutnado! I’m looking forward to watching the 2nd and 3rd films as they look way more crazy, which is what a film called SHARKNADO needed to be, and where I feel this fell short.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I find it funny that it gained such a cult following that it was briefly released in movie theaters (or maybe that was the second one…)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

          I read that when reading about this – crazy – but I guess it would make a better ‘group’ or Midnight Movie experience than watching it on your own at home.

          Liked by 1 person

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