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King of the ArsesMel Gibson: Having seen Irreversible, Antichrist, Baise Moi, Audition (+ other Miike films), both Funny Games, Requiem for a Dream, and Spice World, it takes a lot to shock this writer. In saying that, after listening to the leaked Mel Gibson tapes I was positively disgusted. This guy’s supposed to be a devout Christian yet, allegedly hates homosexuals, clearly hates women, allegedly beats women, allegedly hates Jews, drink drives and – more generally – is an all-round out-and-out scrotum. When he’s not massive being a ball-bag in his free time, he’s a ‘practical joker’ on set, playing pranks like flashing his ass, making actors do scenes with clown noses, nailing nude pics of co-stars to crew notice boards and pretending to be a dangerous stalker, or an offensive German alter ego. Most shockingly, if you look at his 25 year career, for such a high-profile actor he hasn’t actually been in a single great film… (Braveheart maybe, but as a Scot, that’s a whole other story!) Not unlike a chronic disease, Gibson is becoming worse and worse but never seems to fuck off.

Verdict: While this has hardly a fair trial, it’s getting harder and harder to defend this guy. Jury votes are in: ‘King of the Arses’

The Edge of Genius or William WallArse – You Decide

So Kai and Novroz recently posted a couple of memes and tagged me in them. Here are my ten movie-related facts, and a sneak peek inside the life and times of your author. Please don’t use any of this information against me going forward.

  • I only started this site to document all the films I watch; at my peak I was averaging around 2-3 per day and trying to remember which movies are which (let alone good or bad) is usually a nightmare. Everything else I get out of this site – like readers and comments – is a bonus!
  • The earliest films I have memories of seeing are Papillon, Predator, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Mary Poppins – odd one out?
  • First time I went to the cinema without my parents was to see Spice World (it was my little sister’s birthday, honest!)
  • The films I’ve seen most times would probably be BASEketball, The Lion King and the start of Commando (after a lot of nights out)
  • I tried every weekend for 2 months to convince the staff at my local that I was old enough to legally watch The Matrix, I failed every weekend and had to wait for the VHS.
  • I only have three film posters in my house: Infernal Affairs, Goodfellas and Burn After Reading – none of them are up at the moment though :(
  • Studied Politics, International Relations and Film at university: the Film courses turned my fondness for movies into a voracious hobby and I genuinely couldn’t have guessed it would become the most useful, or relevant, to my future self at the time.
  • The pile of films I’ve yet to watch is probably bigger than most people’s DVD collection, definitely have an amazon wishlist addiction. I’m simultaneously proud and ashamed of that pile.
  • You wouldn’t believe how long it takes to chop a page full of notes into a concise paragraph! Sometimes I think it’d be easier and faster writing normal reviews. (Note: it’d be good to see people take the ‘Paragraph Film Review Challenge’)
  • Currently writing a screenplay for my first short film, plan to shoot, direct and edit it too but we’ll see how that works out with no experience… The story’s somewhere between (500) Days of Summer and Idle Hands at the moment.

No meme would be complete without the ability to spread. From my daily blog fodder I choose…

Michael Bay is The Antichrist – top reviews and movie news

Critic Planet – the internet’s biggest critic

Fandango Groovers – Big hittin’ movie review site

Suture Me In – Startup site with a bunch of reviews and mini awards

Tartan Films – Another startup, one dedicated dude watching every release by (Palisades) Tartan