The Autopsy of Jane Doe: two small-town coroners investigate a fresh “Jane Doe”, whose cause of death becomes increasingly difficult to pin down as they learn about the body. This film is the embodiment of tight and efficient: a brief 15-minute setup; 30 mins of live/real-time autopsy, and the last half the film shifts gears into a full-on supernatural horror / thriller. Not for the faint-hearted, parts of this are horrifying to watch; the autopsy is shown in all of it’s snapping, sawing, scalping glory, and is coloured with buckets of crimson – this will definitely root out the weak and the woozy. Although there are a couple of big (and cheap) ‘modern’ jump-scares the majority of the film’s tension comes through the satisfyingly old-school method of very slowly building a sustained and overbearing sense of dread; the film lets your imagination run wild, and shows some incredible restraint – a couple of moments even stray into ‘pure terror’. As mentioned above, it’s a very tight movie: tight script (tons of subtle clues that tie in together nicely); tight setting (claustrophobic, well-established, and inherently creepy morgue); tight cast (Hirsch and Cox are a great/safe pair of hands, with fantastic chemistry). In fact, the only thing that minorly lets the film down is the ending, which is good, but doesn’t do justice to the slow-cooker setup. A completely unrelated follow-up to the fantastic TrollHunter, Norwegian director André Øvredal is proving himself as a very strong and competent film-maker – once again his direction is meticulous, without being the slightest bit ‘auteurial’ or flashy. Few things excite me less than ‘modern horror’, yet because of its throwback sensibilities ‘Autopsy’ feels more a John Carpenter picture than the ‘Paranormal Conjuring 27’ films modern audiences are being served up.
Tag Archives: sacrifice
Wrestlers Vz Zombies
Pro All-Star Wrestlers Vs Zombies: when a murdered wrestler’s brother brings him back to life, he tricks several famous wrestlers into an abandoned asylum for a private show – full of killer zombies. Welcome to the dark side of Kickstarter; where any n00b director can get any movie funded by promising fanboys and fangirls a tantalising list of B-movie niches. To get it out-of-the-way – this film is pants. The script is rubbish, the plot is woeful, it’s poorly filmed, it’s terribly edited, the sound/overdubbing is horrible and worst of all, even the fighting scenes are at best averagely filmed and edited. On the plus side the make-up is alright, and the crimson gore is serviceable. I hate sticking the boot in to any film, let alone a cheap indie, but there’s no excuse for bad film-making these days, not even the shoestring $30K (or thereabouts budget). Primer and El Mariachi cost $7K each, Eraserhead – $10K, Paranormal Activity – $15K, Blair Witch – $20K, Catfish – $30K… Film-making equipment is now smaller, lighter, cheaper and more readily available. The main reason I suspect is that the wrestler’s fees took up most of the budget? I love wrestling, and B-movies – and watched this with a die-hard wrestling fan – whilst keeping up with a drinking game (see below for details) and even then it was still a chore making it to the end. Despite the big names and premise, there’s not even that many good wresting in-jokes or terminology (“Jobbers die, not headliners” and a coconut being the two standouts). Wrestlers Vs Zombies is another film where the idea and title are infinitely better than anything in the movie itself. The point below is for Roddy Piper, and nothing else.
Score: 1/10
WRESTLERS vs ZOMBIES DRINKING GAME
1 – Every time you hear the phrase “The Franchise”
2 – Every time there is a proper wrestling move: slam, hold, leap etc
3 – Every time you hear a (woeful) heavy metal song



