Walkout: Brotherhood of the Wolf

Brotherhood of the Wolf: a French knight and NATIVE AMERICAN WARRIOR (!!) investigate reportings of a murderous wolf-like beast in 1700s France. I can best describe this as a 1980s fantasy fanboy political aristocratic period dramahorror‘; with werewolves, camp comedy, bawdy action, and token European tits. Trying to cover this much ground, it’s simply far too weird and ridiculous for its own good. The acting is theatre at best, the plot is nothing short of batshit mental, there’s also lots of hammy slow mo, rubbish CGI, and a laughable bone-sword. The beautiful Monica Bellucci can’t even save this, as a tracking shot of her naked body morphs into a CGI woman-shaped mountain-scape… really!?!?! The film’s like a wholesale sized can of industrial strength WTF, focus grouped by the biggest nerds in the world – and I love geeky films.

I endured 45 minutes then skipped through the rest of the film, stopping at the action scenes only.

Alternative Plans: sat in the corner of my room – confused, angry and disoriented – bashing head against the wall, thinking why… why… why… why…

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6 comments
  1. That doesn’t sound completely mental at all. I don’t know what you mean!? A Bone Sword?

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      The blade is metal, but the handle is made from ANIMAL BONEZ, SO COOL LOL!!!!!

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  2. I got this on DVD when it was first released on the advice of a reviewer I trusted. I remember thinking it was a blast, but I was smoking a lot of weed back then. I lent it to a buddy and we lost touch before I got it back. I keep meaning to pick up another copy though. Some of Mark Dacascos’ fight scenes were insane. Did you ever see Drive? Not the Baby Goose one, the one with Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison. Bit of an overlooked gem that got ignored in the wake of The Matrix

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      I can imagine it playing better under the influence of ‘urbs. Not seen Drive yet, but it’s on my LOVEFILM as I’ve seen it appear on several ‘Best action fims’/’martial arts films’ lists.

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  3. Andrew said:

    Maybe it’s been a long time since I’ve seen this but man, you and I disagree 100% on this. It just walks the fine line between taking itself too seriously and recognizing and embracing its inherent genre campiness. And I can’t say no to Dacascos doing something other than shouting “allez cuisine”.

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      allez cuisine… Shit man, you’ve just ruined Marky boy for me now. Totally didn’t realise that was him!!!

      I think this would be worth a re-watch. I can see the appeal to stoners, kids and big kids (the guy who gave it to me – it’s his favourite film of all time – is +50) but even as a nerd I just couldn’t buy in to the crap that was flying out of my telly!

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