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Frogtown 01 Julius LeFlore, Roddy Piper, William Smith, Sandahl Bergman, Eyde Byrde, Lee Garlington, Cec Verrell, Rory Calhoun, Cliff Bemis

Hell Comes to Frogtown: in the aftermath of a nuclear war that ravaged the planet and left most of the population infertile Sam Hell (WWF star “Rowdy” Roddy Piper) must save a group of fertile ladies from frog-based sex slavery. Yup. That really is the plot. Everything about this film is lightyears away from the realms of possibility, logic, science, facts etc. It’s 100% bad acting, bad sets, bad props, bad writing, bad lines – yet it has a bizarre “can’t get any worse” / car-crash quality that keeps you watching til the shoddy showdown in the desert. There’s boobs, there’s weirdness and there’s some green-gore & action set pieces – so it ticks all of the B-movie boxes. If you love your films cheaper than cheap and as silly Troma releases this will be up your street. Otherwise, just another one for the B-movie completists and raslin fanboys.

Score: 3/10

Frogtown 03 Julius LeFlore, Roddy Piper, William Smith, Sandahl Bergman, Eyde Byrde, Lee Garlington, Cec Verrell, Rory Calhoun, Cliff Bemis Frogtown 02 Julius LeFlore, Roddy Piper, William Smith, Sandahl Bergman, Eyde Byrde, Lee Garlington, Cec Verrell, Rory Calhoun, Cliff BemisFrogtown 04 Julius LeFlore, Roddy Piper, William Smith, Sandahl Bergman, Eyde Byrde, Lee Garlington, Cec Verrell, Rory Calhoun, Cliff Bemis,

Vinnie Jones: Former crazy footballer turned silver-screen ‘ard man is probably one of the most recognisable Brits in the movie business right now. Whether it’s because of his reputation and image, or genuine lack of range, Mr Jones always ends up playing hooligans, hitmen, mutants, gangsters and serial killers. Despite this he’s appeared over 30 films including Lock Stock, Snatch, Hell Ride, X-Men, Survive Style 5+, The Condemned… erm… Midnight Meat Train and… uhhh… Not Another Not Another Movie! Aside from acting he’s also written books, appeared in a WWF PPV, starred in music videos, a ton of commercials, numerous TV appearances and sang on a couple of albums. More recently he took some time out to guest star as “A Massive Knob” in the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother, but to be fair, he was the only household name in a room full of idiots. All-in, given his age and background he’s done quite well but where are all the good roles?

Verdict: Unlimited respect to a football player that ends up being one of the most famous British people in the world, unfortunately he hasn’t done anything good enough to deserve ‘Genius’ status. Arse by default.

Blue Toothed Genius or JuggerArse – you decide!