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Witchtrap (AKA – The Presence / The Haunted): before leasing out his family home, a warlock’s son calls in some parapsychologists to rid the house of evil spirits. For a low-budget late 80s B-movie the video and audio transfer are better than some of the bigger studio pictures from this period. The audio track – which was botched on the movie set – is particularly clear as every line and effect had to be re-recorded in post. The film itself is of a fantastically cheesy vintage; it went from inception to ready-to-shoot in under a week, so the plot is mechanical, (seven people enter a house – fewer leave) and the dialogue is massively overripe, but in a fun, corny way… and it’s not helped by the ‘detached’ ADR performances. Characters are all fairly stock, and are championed by a John McLean-style wisecracking hardboiled detective, who is – in all honesty – way too cool for this type of movie, but his constant jabbering helps the film remain on your good side. For the first few deaths it feels like the movie is wimping out of showing maximum gore, but the final act throws in a lot of blood and over-the-top kills, including an unusually long and graphic shooting and a monster melting sequence. It’s also surprisingly well directed; with slow and ominous camerawork (paired with an equally doom-laden soundtrack), plenty jumpscares, and some technical/dolly shots that you don’t usually get in this type of film. The new Blu Ray release is the first uncut/unrated version; it also boasts a heap of extras including an honest & interesting interview with the director. Nothing about Witchtrap is exceptional or original, but it’s better made, more entertaining, and as nostalgic as any other film in this genre. (Linnea Quigley also gets her waps out!)

Score: 5/10
B-movie Score: 7/10

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Dr Alien Teacher Sidekick, Billy Jacoby, Judy Landers, Olivia Barash, Troy Donahue, Stuart Fratkin, Arlene Golonka, Jim Hackett, Bobby Jayne, Julie Gray, Linnea Quigley, Ginger Lynn,

Dr. Alien (AKA I Was a Teenage Sex Maniac. AKA I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant): after a bum injection from a ridiculously sexy alien a boring high-school loser becomes a mini Fonzie that can beat up jocks, front a heavy metal band, drive like a boss, and has hordes of horny wimin stripping and ravaging him continually. I suspect this may have been written by teenage boys for teenage boys? It has a weird style of humour: lots of lame and nonsensical childish gags accompanied with loud Looney Toons sound effects – in a film with boobs and (very light) sex scenes?!? With zinger punch lines like “you forgot the mustard!” and “he looked great in tight trousers!” you’d be forgiven for thinking that actual aliens wrote the script after hearing some 1920s radio plays. There’s not a whole lot else worth mentioning as everything about the movie is sub-standard: acting, script, editing and direction… even the main special effect, a ‘Hideous Fleshy Antena (that looks like a pouting anus) is underwhelming. In fact, the most notable aspect of this entire DVD release is that it has an X-rated porn film (Auditions, 1978) as a completely unrelated extra which brings the rating from whats’s presumably a 15 to a Hard 18! Bottom line – Dr. Alien isn’t violent, saucy, or trashy enough to be worthy of the GrindhouseB-Movie (or even Teen Sex Comedy) branding – it’s actually a slightly naughtier Ferris Bueller / Grease / Weird Science affair.

Score: 2/10
B-Movie Score: 3/10

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