Prometheus: a team of crack scientists travel to a distant planet to discover humanity’s beginnings, however, what they find could finish us all off! The opening aerial shots of breathetaking, sweeping landscapes are geography porn, it’s so beautiful that it’s worth the entrance fee alone. The rest of the film looks just as great, with sumptuous visuals, well-designed costumes & sets, and totally seamless impressive CGI. To match this, the acting roster’s impressive, although it’s absolutely owned by Fassbender‘s portrayal of David the android; he’s efficient, calculating, and believably robotic – surprisingly, he’s also by far the most interesting character, and the film’s biggest driving force. Charlize Theron’s role disappointingly amounts to nothing more than “hottie in a cat suit”. Frustraitingly, the film spends most of the runtime raising, contemplating and flirting with massive questions & themes – religion, evolution, why are we here, meeting our makers… – It’s just a shame that it spends next to no time resolving or answering any. As for being an Alien prequel, it feels intentionally distanced, with not much more than a fleeting post-script that is clunkily added-on. All in, I think Ridley’s hoping that the big loud grand spectacle will serve as a distraction from the fact that the story is neither strong, nor particularly original – which is epitomised best in Fassbender’s time in the fancy, flashy galaxy simulator thingmy-bob.

Score: 6/10

  1. Perfectly concise review man. I feel exactly the same. Great opening, great Fassbender, great philosophical ideas that were not delved into as well as they should have. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just not as good as it could have been.


  2. My disappointment was probably higher than it should have been because I was expecting so much from this. Maybe the two proposed sequels will delve deeper into what was missing from this movie.


    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      True, but shit that in the aftermath / late run up to this film (and after all the hype) Ridley’s pulled out the Wachowski “needs moar mooviez lol” card…. what a dick.


  3. Shaft said:

    This film’s biggest flaw was the poor script. Aside not answering or resolving any questions and themes, it just kept throwing stupidities at you one after another.


    You have the biggest expedition in all the history of mankind, and who does Weyland hire? A bunch of perfect incompetents!

    – You have geologists who don’t seem even remotely interested in looking at rocks on an alien planet.
    – You have characters acting as guides and in charge and the mapping devices getting lost.
    – The scientists take of their protective suits.
    – They follow absolutely no decontamination & safety procedures.
    – They pet completely alien, and obviously hostile creatures. Three goddamn times!
    – They dip their fingers into strange alien goo, they take alien samples on board by putting them in – what, bags?
    – They don’t secure the samples while working on them.
    – They conduct experiments without protective gear.
    – They prod the said sample with big electro-stimulating needles like a bunch of teeny girls in a school lab (while another scientist is getting drunk in the background)

    … need I go on?

    I got the biggest laugh, however, when David tells Shaw she’s expecting an alien baby. Instead of helping her, he drugs her. She wakes up, smacks the staff around, flees into Vickers’ quarters and into that All-In-One medical device, gets her abdomen cut, the alien removed, the abdomen stitched back with staples. Minutes after, she can not only walk, but run and jump. No one came looking for her, so she eventually trots back into the room, covered in blood, half-naked, with a staple-stitched belly – and not one person seems to find it necessary to ask her what the fucking hell just happened?! What do they do? They ask her to go outside with them!

    Uhhhh, if this were a scene in a Michael Bay film, can you imagine how people would howl and throw insults at him? Yet, few call Scott and Lindelof on their bullshit.

    I’m sorry to say, but “Prometheus” is a piece of crap with superb visuals and cinematography, an interesting premise, and a great Michael Fassbender. And I find myself angry at myself, because for some strange reason, I like it way more than I should.


    • r361n4 said:

      Lol, totally agree on the many wtf moments. The last one with nobody questioning why she is covered in blood when she walks into the room is definitely a gem though. It’s not quite as bad as the oh-so-obvious “revelation” about Charlize Theron that follows it.

      Anyways, I’m personally not as enchanted by Lindelhof’s Lost-like disregard for answering the questions that he asks, so I still call him on his bullshit


    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      I feel your pain. In the cinema I almost shouted “Airborne infections” as soon as those fannys took their helmets off. The ‘spoilers’ box in the CoolAwesomeMovies review is absolute gold!


  4. r361n4 said:

    This is definitely a hard movie to sum up in a paragraph, but I can’t think of any other way I’d do it differently. Good review, I almost wish you could do a short review and a long review for each movie you cover. I know it’s easier for people to read short reviews but it’s nice to be able to have additional material to delve into if you’re in the mood.

    Also I just started up a review blog myself, would you have any advice for a newcomer on how to build up viewership?


    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      Yep, I’d love to have the time to write pages of rambling reviews but much prefer the short / punchy reviews.
      Good luck on the site, and as for advice: I’d say read and comment (insightfully) on as many blogs as you have the time to, networking will get the readers, blogrolls, follow fridays etc…

      There’s a few points at the bottom of this piece I did a while back – they’re all still true.


  5. Andrew said:

    Biggest problem here isn’t the script– in fact, arguing straight up that “it’s the script” belies an ignorance of how much movies change from the script level to the production level– but Scott. Scott has primary authorship here, and as such he could have deviated from the script during principal or vetoed it at the screenwriting stage. He didn’t. And seeing how some of this stuff plays out in the film, it’s amazing that he didn’t have the presence of mind to just put the kibosh on the more idiotic elements on display here.

    It’s a solid film. But it’s also aggressively stupid. For all of the great stuff going on related to creation and why people create, there’s as many cliches that add nothing to the story and frankly drag the whole thing down.


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