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Sharknado 2

March 14, 2016
Film Reviews
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Sharknado 2 The Second One Chainsaw Ian Ziering, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Tara Reid, Judd Hirsch, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, Perez Hilton, Kelly Osbourne,

Sharknado 2: The Second One – while promoting their new ‘How to survive a Sharknado’ book, Fin and his ex-wife April get caught up in an even bigger storm in New York City. Due to the runaway success of the first movie everyone wants a bite: it’s cameo city with a distracting number of ‘famous’ people clambering over each other for lines and gory deaths; the camera lingers on extras that feel like crowbarred in Z-list celebrities; and more cynically, some big brands have waded in NY Mets, Subway, The Today Show… On an unrelated note, an extremely large proportion of the cast have wrinkle-and-expression-free crazy facelift faces. It’s not all bad though: the effects have improved big time, the action is far more outrageous, and it feels more ambitious than the original – pushing the ‘Sharknado‘ idea further, and getting more mileage out of the concept. Despite continuing to break almost every continuity rule known to cinema – it’s surprisingly fun to watch and has a few laugh-out-loud moments, like the absurd shark info graphics on weather reports. Sharknado 2 is still a SyFy straight-to-dvd ‘film’ – the DVD even opens with a ‘Stonado’ trailer (replace hungry sharks with exploding stones!) – but it’s bigger, better, dumber, funnier, and more enjoyable than its predecessor.

Score: 4/10
B-movie Score: 7/10

Sharknado 2 The Second One Weather Stephanie Abrams Ian Ziering, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Tara Reid, Judd Hirsch, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, Perez Hilton, Kelly Osbourne,

Shark Deaths
– Home Run
– Taser
– Bat Impalement
– Broadsword
– Chainsaw’d in half
– Machine Gunned
– Stiletto’d
– Angry Mobbed
– Super-Soaker Flamethrower
– Umbrella’d
– Handgunned

Wrestlers Vz Zombies

July 14, 2015
Film Reviews
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Pro All Star Wrestlers Vs Zombies Rowdy Roddy Piper, Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Taya Parker, Reby Sky, Shane Douglas, Richard John Walters, Cody Knotts

Pro All-Star Wrestlers Vs Zombies: when a murdered wrestler’s brother brings him back to life, he tricks several famous wrestlers into an abandoned asylum for a private show – full of killer zombies. Welcome to the dark side of Kickstarter; where any n00b director can get any movie funded by promising fanboys and fangirls a tantalising list of B-movie niches. To get it out-of-the-way – this film is pants. The script is rubbish, the plot is woeful, it’s poorly filmed, it’s terribly edited, the sound/overdubbing is horrible and worst of all, even the fighting scenes are at best averagely filmed and edited. On the plus side the make-up is alright, and the crimson gore is serviceable. I hate sticking the boot in to any film, let alone a cheap indie, but there’s no excuse for bad film-making these days, not even the shoestring $30K (or thereabouts budget). Primer and El Mariachi cost $7K each, Eraserhead – $10K, Paranormal Activity – $15K, Blair Witch – $20K, Catfish – $30K… Film-making equipment is now smaller, lighter, cheaper and more readily available. The main reason I suspect is that the wrestler’s fees took up most of the budget? I love wrestling, and B-movies – and watched this with a die-hard wrestling fan – whilst keeping up with a drinking game (see below for details) and even then it was still a chore making it to the end. Despite the big names and premise, there’s not even that many good wresting in-jokes or terminology (“Jobbers die, not headliners” and a coconut being the two standouts). Wrestlers Vs Zombies is another film where the idea and title are infinitely better than anything in the movie itself. The point below is for Roddy Piper, and nothing else.

Score: 1/10

 

WRESTLERS vs ZOMBIES DRINKING GAME

1 – Every time you hear the phrase “The Franchise”
2 – Every time there is a proper wrestling move: slam, hold, leap etc
3 – Every time you hear a (woeful) heavy metal song