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The ABCs of Death

November 1, 2015
Film Reviews, Short Films
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ABCs of Death Blood Baby Blocks Letters Logo

The ABCs of Death: Horror and Horror-Comedy anthology consisting of 26 short films from different directors, including some of the best and most notorious in the genre. The brief is simple; small budget, unlimited imagination, and be as anarchic, ambitious and outrageous as you can. Although there are a couple of stinkers, on-the-whole there are a lot of interesting, fun, and exciting segments in here; and hopefully it will be a gateway into world cinema, as the ‘foreign’ shorts are generally a cut above in terms of story and execution.

Score: 7.5/10

ABCs of Death Youngbuck Pedophile Archery Hunting Antlers Deer

Apocalypse (Nacho Vigalondo): Some great use of black humour and physical effects. Great opener. 8/10

Bigfoot (Adrian Garcia Bogliano): Babysitting done right. Bogyman style Mexican ‘Snowman’. 8/10

Cycle (Ernesto Diaz Espinoza): Mini Triangle/Timecrimes style horror. Garden hoez! 7/10

Dogfight (Marcel Sarmiento): Best animal acting I’ve ever seen. Good mini plot & twist. 8/10

Exterminate (Angela Bettis): A campaign of terror from a spider. Too CGI reliant, but good fapping humour. 5/10

Fart (Noboru Iguchi): Some classic Japanese madness; schoolgirl lesbians overdosing on their teacher’s farts. 7/10

ABCs of Death Toilet Claymation Killer Toilet

Gravity (Andrew Traucki): POV death by drowning. First stinker on the reel. 2/10

Hydro-Electric Diffusion (Thomas Malling): Steampunk Nazi Stripper Cat in XXX Loony Toons. 5/10

Ingrown (Jorge Michel Grau): Bathtubs, needles, scratching, vomit. Proper nasty & hard-hitting. 9/10

Jidai-geki (Yûdai Yamaguchi): Seppuku gone wrong. Very funny and awesome gore / FX. 8/10

Klutz (Anders Morgenthaler): Animation of a poop that just wont flush. One of the tamer segments. 6/10

Libido (Timo Tjahjanto): Very dark Mortal Kombat style masturbation competition. Unsettling and provocative. 9/10

Miscarriage (Ti West): Not scary, not well made, one cheap shock. Worst thing on the reel. 1/10

ABCs of Death Ingrown Bathtub Scratching Needle Murder

Nuptials (Banjong Pisanthanakun): Laugh out loud marriage proposal with a parrot. Charming and witty. 9/10

Orgasm (Bruno Forzani / Héléne Cattet): Feels more experimental and artistic-based than horror/gore. 4/10

Pressure (Simon Rumley): A prostitute doing a ‘crush film’ to pay the bills. Poignant and harrowing. 8/10

Quack (Adam Wingard / Simon Barrett): Too meta! A segment featuring the directors talking about their segment. Zzzzz 5/10

Removed (Srđan Spasojević): Surreal skit about a man being hacked to bits for his celluloid skin. Gross FX, potty mouth! 6/10

Speed (Jake West): Babes in the Desert trying to avoid death. Attitude, sass, style and striking visuals. 8/10

Toilet (Lee Hardcastle): A kid’s irrational fear of toilet training. Claymation madness! 9/10

ABCs of Death Libido Jacking it pedophilia impalement

Unearthed (Ben Wheatley): POV Vampire Vs Angry Mob. One of the slicker and better made efforts. 8/10

Vagitus (Kaare Andrews): Big action featuring a baby-eating robot and fertility. Slick CGI. 9/10

WTF! (Jon Schnepp): Another Meta segment, but genuinely WTF. Zombie clowns, pervy animation, hippy visuals & bloody babes. 6/10

XXL (Xavier Gens): Plight of a fat woman in today’s image-obsessed world. Repulsive SFX, hard-hitting story. 8/10

Youngbuck (Jason Eisener): a paedophile teaches a kid to hunt. 1980s montage style, mental, absurd, and great fun. 9/10

Zetsumetsu (Yoshihiro Nishimura): most outrageous segment; a topless Nazi babe with a big penis fights a girl firing veg from her lady garden. 9/11 depicted on tits; 3/11 (Fukushima disaster) on buttocks. Sex, violence, lesbians, and a fittingly OTT finale. 7/10

AVERAGE SCORE: 6.8/10

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The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon

February 24, 2010
Short Films
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The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon: Richard Gale’s ten minute short that’s a pseudo-trailer for what would make an absolutely awesome film. Despite the descriptive, yet modest, title this short has explosions, beards, guns, the undead, tanks, global locations and spoons… what more could you ask for? Genuinely funny and very well produced this one is well worth checking out – ‘It will kill you. Even if it takes the rest of your life!’ No need to go anywhere though as it’s on Youtube in HD! LINK:

Verdict: Watch!!

My Wrongs #8245-8249 & 117

October 21, 2009
Short Films
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My Wrongs #8245-8249 & 117: Chris Morris’ BAFTA winning short (12 mins) about a mentally ill man’s failed attempt to look after his friend’s Doberman: adapted from a Blue Jam radio sketch. Totally surreal with a talking dog, duck rats and babies – not for everyone. There’s a lot of extras on the DVD disc and on the actual case itself. Must see for Morris fans, although don’t pay over the odds for it.

Verdict: Watch

Ryan

October 7, 2009
Short Films
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Ryan: Chris Landreth’s short (14 minutes) on Ryan Larkin: a ground-breaking Canadian animator. Most of this GCI other than the original Larkin drawings that captured the movement of human bodies (Walking and Street Musique). The surroundings are good and the characters are impressive & very original. It’s a great short film, that tells an emotional story in a light-hearted but effective way.

Verdict: Watch

In Absentia / The Comb

October 6, 2009
Short Films
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In Absentia: Quay Brothers “avant-grade” short (20 mins). The audio’s terrible, just a ringing din, and the visuals aren’t much better, particularly all the weird close-ups. Either arthouse, a parody of arthouse or totally shit – honestly couldn’t tell, maybe it’s all three. Close to the most boring thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t watch this unless you hate yourself. Not enjoyable.

Verdict: Ignore

The Comb: Quay Brothers short (18 mins) bizarre stop-motion animation that’s supposed to be a girl’s dream. There’s no real story, but it looks pretty OK, kind of like the nightmare before christmas, but much stranger. I’d only really check this out if you like stop motion animation. Who funds these guys?

Verdict: Ignore

My Dad Is 100 Years Old

October 2, 2009
Short Films
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My Dad is 100 years old: short film (16 mins) about Isabella Rossellini ‘bigging up’ her dad and letting us all know how misunderstood his ‘genius’ work was, and how it’s being forgotten. She explicitly states that he was undoubtedly better than Chaplin, Felini,and Hitchcock: who’s work was ‘cinema masturbation’… very bold. It does rely on the thick cinema heritage of her parents – Ingrid Bergman and her dad. Shame she looks like Benico Del Toro, and chose to represent her dad as a fat, talking stomach. Car crash of a tribute.

Verdict: Ignore!