The Midnight Meat Train

JAPANORAMA - Kinkie BANNER JAPAN-O-RAMAMidnight Meat Train Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Roger Bart, Ted Raimi, Vinnie Jones, Peter Jacobson, Barbara Eve Harris, Tony Curran, Quinton JacksonThe Midnight Meat Train (Spoilers): A struggling photographer finds more than just inspiration in late-night New York, as he stumbles across the reason why so many of the city’s people go missing. So, the average human body contains over four liters of blood – unless you’re unlucky enough to be on the Midnight Meat Train, where people have infinite blood. The film is everything that you think a movie called “Midnight Meat Train” would be. It’s a shady story that gets weirder and sillier as the film progresses, finishing with something so ridiculous and over-the-top. The acting’s alright for this type of film (gore, schlock, pure B-movie), but the characters are ridiculous. The lead goes from normal to psychotically obsessed within 2 scenes. My favourite thing about this film is that five years ago, Bradley Cooper was the leading man in a movie where an ogre-king pulls his fiance’s heart out, forces Cooper to eat it, before getting his own tongue ripped out! I don’t know if this could ever have been a good movie, but it’s the kind of film that would have worked a lot better if it was all done in Japan and in Japanese, and not just a J-horror director working in Hollywood, with an American cast.

Score: 2/10
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4 comments
  1. brikhaus said:

    The title of this movie makes me LOL.

    Like

    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      Pretty much EVERYTHING about this movie made me LOL… and it’s not even TRYING to be a comedy!

      Like

  2. James said:

    Have you seen, No One Lives, the latest film from the director of Midnight Meat Train? You can check out the trailer here. I think it’s much better!

    Like

    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      Hi James, thanks for stopping by! Haven’t seen that, although as it’s a WWE film, it’s definitely got my interest. Will definitely check it out as I loved his older stuff, pre Midnight Meat Train.

      Like

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