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Newsmakers: When Moscow police are left looking weak a hot-shot PR chick turns their next operation in to a media circus live feed news event. The synopsis sounded familiar, but about 5 minutes in I knew I’d definitely seen this before… What starts off with homage feel to Breaking News soon digresses into a scene for scene re-make that doesn’t shake off the lethargic pacing, bizarre minor characters or sushi lunch of the original – although it does leave out the farting! Being Russian, the subtitles are beyond dubious – favourite line was “what the devil are they doing” – also, this is supposed to be about cutting edge technology but still uses classic rhetoric like Virtual hyperspace, “multimedia technology” and “information war” – GROAN!! The action however is still pretty sweet, particularly the opening quality gunfight and car-flipping chase scene. Bottom line; Newsmakers isn’t a bad stand-alone film, but when you’ve seen the original it’s a needless carbon copy with less style and flare, poorer direction, and additional to say. Made me feel like I’d been a bit too harsh on the original – which I’d probably bump up a full mark now.

Score: 4/10

Red Sonia: not the type of film you’re going to sit down and properly analyse, so here’s my favourite things about it.

  • Bunch of blondes with long swords (and longer pins)
  • 60 foot squatting stone Buddha, 30 foot stone bull, and other the massive props
  • Arnie’s RAGING cod-piece
  • Arnie’s RAGING growl at the kid
  • Everyone’s unnecessarily impractical fighting gear
  • Bunch of bad guys wearing jeans (in the middle-ages)
  • Agile mechanical dragon-serpent (in the middle-ages)
  • Brigette Nielsen’s outstanding pins – before she turned into a mess.
  • Everyone trying their hardest to see who can act the worst.

Overall I love how Arnie keeps appearing, and risking his life to save an incompetent ginger woman that hates all men!!! Would be brilliant after a few drinks. Utter cheese, but totally watchable.

Score: 6/10