Barb Wire

The5ObstructionsBlogathon1This post is part of the The 5 Obstructions Blogathon over at MyFilmViews; a series where Nostra challenges film reviewers by issuing limitations and rules for five film reviews over five months. The first month’s challenge is to “write a positive review of a movie you don’t like, or write a negative review of a movie you love.” Here goes.

Barb Wire Pamela Anderson Lee Xander BerkleyBarb Wire: It’s 2017, the 2nd American Civil War rages on – this film shows how everyday people struggle to make ends meet – by mixing lapdancing and bounty hunting. When people talk about culturally important movies you never hear Barb Wire – this pisses me off. This story is a re-telling of one of cinema’s finest: Casablanca, which sets a high bar for this film – although Barb Wire vaults over that daunting monument with ease. Pamela Anderson, bounces seamlessly from TV and into the movies, cashing in on her trademark look – and transforming herself into a cinematic icon with bodacious curves, blonde hair, skimpy leather outfits and gallons of water for that signature ‘wet look’. The director further complements this by making every single shot about her (and ensuring she flashes a tit every 10 minutes) – not to mention casting Pam as the only sexy person in a world full of freaks and mutants: she truly stands out, and delivers her lines with the cold, jaded authenticity of a bounty hunter that really has seen the horrors of war first hand. She’s supported by some big names, including Udo Kier, Xander Berkley, and Steve Railsback – not to mention a talented Bon Jovi lookalike – who all fit right in with this calibre of movie. The movie is crammed with bold striking imagery and iconography, creating a totally believable futuristic landscape by fusing together the visuals from distinctive eras like WWII, the American Civil War, and Cyberpunk classics, which are expertly stitched together with a Noir look and feel. Despite being 1996, this has the explosions and action of an 80s blockbuster. Barb Wire is a film that has it all: a sexy, dangerous leading lady, on-form supporting cast, action, plot, direction, and most of all re-watch-ability. A criminally overlooked studio classic that will hopefully be seen for the cultural masterpiece that it is within my lifetime.

Score: 9/10
Real score: 1/10

Barb Wire Pamela Anderson Lee Xander Berkley2

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7 comments
  1. Awesome! I gotta go check this movie out now, sounds like an instant classic!

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      I think it would feel more at home under the ‘camp classic’ banner :-p

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  2. But, I love this one! Ha…good one, Paul

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  3. Mac said:

    Superb!! I’m glad to finally see “Bon Jovi lookalike” getting the credit he deserves after all this time. He’s been eeking out a living as the actual singer in Bon Jovi since their 2002 album “Bounce” but this review may be the shot-in-the-arm his acting career needs.

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      I read this morning that they’re looking to cast someone in a recently green-lighted harrowing drama centered on the life of Stephen Hawking. I really hope that “Bon Jovi Lookalike” gets a call, as he’s great at portraying disability.

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  4. Nostra said:

    Wow, you really managed to sell this movie to me :) Comparing it to Casablanca had me laughing. Thanks for joining the blogathon, have added your post to the overview!

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  5. cinemadame said:

    Hilarious!! I love this idea – I might just try one of each type of review myself, seems like a fun challenge!

    Like

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