Somewhere: A successful-but-despondant film star has to spend time with his estranged daughter, they hang out, we watch. This film makes driving a Ferrari boring; it makes Italy look boring; it makes having beautiful women swoon over you boring; worst of all it makes two kinky blonde twins, doing cheeky pole-dancing as nurses rocking to the Foo Fighters boring!! I know this is supposed to be the point but when a character appears to loathe that lifestyle, this reviewer feels no pitty. Sofia Coppola definitely has her own style; unfortunately, it makes me nod off – I genuinely fell asleep twice in the cinema during Lost in Translation, and was so close during this – other punters were more sensible and walked out (and if it hadn’t been the actual ending I’d have walked out after the last scene too). There’s far too many overlong boring shots of mundane non-events. We see some cooking, guitar hero, sunbathing eating, smoking, breathing, empty conversations… it’s essentially a mind numbingly boring fly-on-the-wall focusing on a rather unlikable person. Neither the story or emotions progress, but Dorff and Fanning Jr both do particularly well considering what they have to work with. To top it all off this was sickeningly smug and self-referential; harking back to previous films, echoing a misunderstood celebrity upbringing, and even Sofia’s iPod. This is the rich and famous complaining about being rich and famous. Totally inconsequential, bourgeois, middle class ridiculousness.

Score: 1/10

NB: If I was that famous I would be traveling the world and having as much fun with family and friends as possible – definitely wouldn’t be a miserable shit like Johnny Marco.

  1. hooray! Someone else who was as unimpressed as I with Lost in Translation. I was beginning to think I was the only one.


  2. youre not the only one Colin. yeah, this doesnt interest me at all.


  3. Well well well. Chris Pontius finally gets a real job!
    This is the first review I’ve read that somewhat reflects my views on Lost in Translation – If this film is anything like that one, I think I might stay away. I normally don’t mind mundane happenings in a film – I always use Broken Flowers as an example of a brilliantly subtle film – So many films get it wrong though. Greenberg is one of those that was almost successful in its attempt, but didn’t quite make it like Broken Flowers did.


  4. Sundry: Yea, it was weird seeing Pontius being a ‘serious’ actor. In saying that he got one proper scene and had to colour in while speaking to a kid… wasn’t too taxing. Good shout on Broken Flowers though, even though it’s Bill Murry being Bill Murry it’s a watchable one!

    Sundry/Ross/Colin: so glad to hear that there’s a bit of an anti-movement for Lost in Translation, seems as though it’s definitely a minority opinion though. I just didn’t get it… In a nutshell Somewhere is Lost in Translation without Bill Murry, Japan, Scarlet, or anything that makes LiT remotely interesting.


    • I’d never thought about it like that – BM being BM. Oh no, now I’ll never watch him in the same way again :O It’ll be like my whole difficulty with watching Robert Downey Jr being Robert Downey Jr in Robert Downey Jr films, which is what they inevitably end up being.
      Or Colin Farrell being a total tool in 50% of his films :D Although that’s not quite the same, I suppose. At least he’s reliably inane.

      Somewhere sounds like penance. It’s a shame that Pontius’ surname is more interesting than he is.


  5. Ouch. I was actually excited for “Somewhere.” I am a fan of “Lost in Translation” but I don’t think anything I say can persuade non-fans to drop the “non-.” Anyway, perhaps I’ll check this out as a rental.


  6. Fitz said:

    This looked dumb from the get-go. Glad I missed it.


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