Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus: three rogue marine scientists try to save the world from two huge prehistoric menaces. After the first 5 minutes you know there’s one big flaw in this – the budget. It’s stuffed with awful ‘action sequences’ (mostly shaky cam), painfully cheap graphics, an atrocious sound mix, a second-rate script, terrible establishing shots and the criminal overuse of several CGI scenes. In the movies defence, an SFX-heavy creature feature with a lot of destruction isn’t the easiest to make on a shoestring budget, but the laughable effects just ruin any possibility suspense and tension. It’s also edited together like a psychological thriller, for reasons that were beyond me. There are a few redeeming aspects: the music is pretty good, some simple shots are very effective and… erm… Debbie Gibson is a total babe!? The promiscuously colourful science montage and questionably raunchy scientists were nice touches. Not without its teachings, I now know that every area of a government complex has a man with a big gun and sunglasses in the corner, racists are generally “equal opportunity” and that scientists get all the pussy. It’s as imaginative as the title, so only watch this for purposes of Irony.

Score: 1.5/10