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Pain and Gain Mihael Bay I was invaded!Pain and Gain: A group of dim bodybuilders kidnap and extort some rich folks. This basically takes a bizarre true-crime story and gives it the Michael Bay treatment (boob job, botox, facelift etc). If there ever was a director with an unsympathetically “In-Yer-Face!” style, it would be Mr Bay. Every female in this is a big-titted supermodel, there’s scenes in strip-clubs where the camera just stares at topless strippers (I felt bad for not tipping), there’s a raft of un-PC/racist jokes, there’s midgets, supercar fascination, drugs, pumped up bodies, dildos / sex toys, dick and homo jokes, and generally everything is over-styalised, and turned up way past 11. In fact; Rebel Wilson’s token crude material is probably the least offensive thing in this. The direction is equally aggressive; resembling high-end music-videos with vibrant colours, rapid cuts, loud music, a superficial glaze, and plenty on-screen stamps/graphics reminding you of what you should be thinking. And having this much character narration is just plain-old sloppy for a director that’s been around as long as Bay. Despite all of the unlikable elements coming from behind the lens, at least he chose some of the most sympathetic and charismatic actors to front the movie: Wahlberg, The Rock, Anthony Mackie… however, these guys are playing cold-blooded, pre-emptive killers, who are picking on hard-working, self-made targets – hard to empathise with. On the upside, there a lot of laughs to be had in this, although they’re mostly at the expense of someone. There’s a fascinating story buried somewhere in this film, but you have to look so far behind all of the bullshit surface that it’s almost impossible to pick out – would have been much better as a less sensational, properly-handled movie.

Score: 5/10

Pitch Perfect Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson, Alexis Knapp, Ester Dean, Hana Mae Lee, Kelley Jakle, Wanetah Walmsley, Shelley RegnerPitch Perfect: a cooler-than-thou freshman joins an all-female acapella singing group, and injects some much-needed modernity into their stale routines. For being a comedy the only real providers of laughs are Fat Amy and the inappropriate commentators; which means you only really want to spend time with them, and leaves you wishing that every character was written with more humour. All teenage/early 20s stereotypes are there: quiet one, sex’d up one, uptight one, lesbian one – even the indie geek DJ gal who makes her own mashups. The story arc is probably the weakest part of the film: will they make the finals? Will she get the boy? Will they all be tested in the middle? Duh, duh and duuuuhhh! The musical stuff entertaining enough, but feels a tad too glee-esque to the untrained ear. For a comedy, Pitch Perfect is alright, but there’s not enough aca-laughter to elevate this from good to great; although as a 27 year old dude, the film’s probably not aiming for me – although it did truly cement my aca-boner for Anna Kendrick.

Score: 6/10  (Aca-OK)

Pitch Perfect 2 Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson, Alexis Knapp, Ester Dean, Hana Mae Lee, Kelley Jakle, Wanetah Walmsley, Shelley Regner