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The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest: final part of the Millennium trilogy, following on from the Dragon Tattoo and Played with Fire. Continuing the downward trend, this looks and feels as bland as most TV movies – 0% cinematic and very little excitement or tension. The plot slowly meanders down two paths: a rehabilitation / courtroom saga for Lisbeth and yet another investigation for Mikael. It’s far, far too long (147 mins) given how little the plot progresses and how pedestrian the story is. While the acting’s still great and there’s a tiny bit of steam left, the focus here is entirely on wrapping up the 2nd film; which was already well below the brilliant stand-alone whodunnit, Dragon Tattoo. Most telling, even when walking out of the cinema I could only recall a handful of good scenes. Fire and Hornet could probably be edited together, cutting out all of the bloated story & characterisation and focusing on the excitement and drama that’s been so diluted in these behemoth instalments. The Fincher re-makes will have trouble competing with the first film, but the other two are his for the taking. A dreadful final chapter, and for closing up a tale that’s over 7 hours long the ending was such an anti-climactic disappointment.

Score: 3/10

StagKnight: over the top 2007 British ‘black’ comedy horror about a stag party’s midnight paintball session and a murderous knight, awoken from a deadly slumber. Off the bat the film is laden with obvious jokes, bad accents, truly bizarre scenes, and some of the worst costumes you’ll ever see in a feature length… so far, so b-movie. There’s a diverse crew of stereotypes (mod, punk, nerd, Asian, wigger, fatty, wimp, hero, etc, etc), and despite being an 18 the gore’s kept to a minimum, with the majority of violence being suggested off screen. Despite it’s pitfalls the film looks very professional, with great audio and video – especially given that it’s almost entirely filmed in the dark: almost unheard of in this genre! Because of this it’s one of the few b-movies I’d have not felt ripped off by if I’d paid to see it at a cinema. It’s definitely horror for the ‘lads’ / sun readers, although it’s an admirable attempt.

Score: 4/10