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12 Rounds: After accidentally killing a terrorist’s girlfriend the hero cop must save his own Mrs in a game of revenge when the baddie escapes from jail a year later. Before watching this I had the sentence “Cena couldn’t act his way out of a joke shop” already typed up; turns out he’s the best actor in the whole film, which doesn’t say much about anyone else. Aidan Gillen was particularly bad, sounding like Raab Himself doing a Tommy Lee Jones from Blown Away impression. Can’t say a good thing about anyone else, other than they pretty much killed what would have been quite a compelling story. It’s from the director of a Die Hard film and the producer of Speed so it’s all familiar territory: high-octane action, constant peril, tasks, explosions, black cop / white cop and ridiculously aware driving. The 5.1 soundtrack’s worth nothing because each crash will thump you in the chest. With the right actors behind it 12 Rounds could have been more memorable however it’s still a pretty decent balls-to-the-wall action flick, and it doesn’t try to be anything else.

Score: 6/10

Death Racers: atrocious Zone Horror B-movie starring the Insane Clown Posse and old-time wrestler Raven. It’s obviously been done on the mega cheap as the overall quality, editing, CGI, and gore all look pretty rushed. The music is overwhelming (and overwhelmingly shit). In the movie’s defence, it’s a truer to the original ‘Death Race 3000’ than the Jason Statham re-make, and has a few funny bits (team Vaginamyte, “DEATH RACE!!!” theme tune etc) Overall, this would make a good drinking game, but not worth watching for any other reason.

Score: 2/10