I Spit on Your Grave: much like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre this film has global notoriety for being one of the most graphic films ever, banned for 20 years, heavily edited etc etc. And much like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre the original cut is one of the biggest let-downs ever… just pure crap, and the audio track is appalling! Not worth wasting any time or money on this.
Score: 1/10
Intacto: This Spanish gem was much better than I remembered first time round. Based around the idea of luck, and how it can be stolen, it’s kind of like The Cooler – only it doesn’t suck ass. Max Von Snydow puts on a great performance, as do the rest of the crew. Good, original, thriller although I expect that it’ll be butchered by Hollywood in the coming years now that they’ve ran out of ideas.
Score: 8/10
Note: If you do like intacto (or films about luck / gambling / underground betting) another great film to check out is 13 Tzameti. Check out the original before the US re-make comes out…
Heroic Duo: Anoher Hong-Kong cop film, but this time not so good. 1/2 psychological thriller (it’s about hypnotists) and half action film (every piece of Glass / Car / Minor Character gets fucked up). Last third of the film is pretty gash, and it’s so cheesy it goes way beyond believable.
Score: 6/10
One night in Mongcock: the film follows a rookie hitman in the most densely-populated area in the world (Mongcock). It’s a pretty good story, the police hunting a hitman, who’s hunting a triad gangbanger… so it’s pretty cat-and-mouse through the film. More drama than action though, with some awesome edge-of-your-seat suspense moments, and the typical dose of Asian symbolism and unethical policing chucked in for good measure! Decent enough film.
Score: 7/10
Cowboy Bepbop (The Movie): Watched this film for the umpteenth time to test a 5.1 surround sound and it definitely does the trick! Could easily be considered as a demo disc for a multi-speaker set up. The story’s ace, animation’s quite good and all of the jazz / blues music is immense. Not as good as the series but definitely worth a looky!
Score: 7/10
Romanzo Criminalé: Set in Italy during the 70s/80s this film follows the rise (and fall) of a notorious crime gang in Rome – including their links with fascists and the government. It starts with lots of fast-paced action but after about an hour turns into the usual downfall / betrayal stories associated with gang films. It’s along the same lines as Goodfellas & Godfather and if you can stick it out to the end – almost 3 hours – it’s a pretty good film. Acting’s top drawer, the story’s pretty epic and the location (and retro Italy backdrop) are all fairly convincing.
Score: 8/10
Flash Point: The story was pretty much a dumbed down version of the Departed (which is a dumbed down version of the Infernal Affairs Trillogy!) but it was easy to watch as it didn’t really make you think. The best thing about this film was the non-stop ass-kicking fight scenes scattered throughout, that culminate in a HUGE 20 minute action scene. The combat is all pretty realistic and based on Mixed Martial Arts. After watching some of the features the reason it’s so good was that they drafted 5 legendary fighters to help choreograph and film the action. It’s pretty much a Tony Jaa film, but not as cheesy and far more life-like. Well worth buying / renting / lovefilming if you like your action flicks.
Score: 8/10
Reykjavik 101: Had this DVD for yonks and finally got round to watching it. Labeled as a ‘hillarious black comedy’ it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs, but had a few good lines / scenes. The plot follows a suicidal loser, who’s mum comes out of the closet and he’s forced to change his ways – but only after he accidentally pumps his mum’s girlfriend. Film looks good and the story’s not exactly clichéd. Some of the scenery and general feel you get of Iceland is worth watching it for alone. Good, but not quite on par with the awkward dark comedy films of Todd Solondz (Welcome to the dollhouse, happiness etc) – which I think it was trying to achieve.
Score: 6.5/10
Red Road: at the weekend and really enjoyed it. It’s about a Glaswegian CCTV operator – an unusual filming location, and probably made it more interesting for a Scot to be watching it. Top drawer acting from most involved and the story really draws you in as the film progresses, leaving you guessing a lot ’til the end. In true Scottish cinema style, it doesn’t really portray us in a great light, but is worth picking up! Only after watching this did I realise that Lars Von Trier was involved in the concept and, in his style, it’s going to be a trilogy.
Score: 8/10
(On a Scottish Cinema theme, Sweet Sixteen is also a brilliant film.)
PRIMER: This is, without a doubt, the best – and most original Sci-Fi film I’ve ever seen. Puts every other time-travel story to shame and is so complex that it took me about 3 viewings to fully comprehend everything that went on because they make no attempt to dumb it down (honestly thought I had learning difficulties after watching it the first time!) Can’t say much else without giving away the plot etc, but considering the low budget, mind-bending physics and solid story… this is a must-see. I’ve watched it about ten times now and it’s still great to watch!
Score: 9/10
The Kite Runner: I tried my hardest to watch this but it was just too boring and slow to finish. The kid actors were alright but the pace totally killed my interest after 45 mins – first film I’ve switched off in ages!
Score: 2/10
UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine: Only watched this ‘military experiment gone wrong’ flick because Michael Madsen was in the line-up. Another pretty good b-movie boasted by Zone Horror. Loads of fake gore and the typical stereotypes of society getting into trouble… worth a look, but wouldn’t go out of my way to buy it!
Score: 4/10
Pterodactyl: a B-movie starring none other than everyone’s favourite foul-mouthed z-list rapper… COOLIO! Given the opening credits, cast and the fact that I’d never heard of this (because it was straight-to-TV!!!) I had braced myself for the worst! In the end it was actually an ace creature feature, with not bad special effects. Loads of goofs and WTF moments, but that’s what you want from a cheap horror film. Clichéd, but definately worth checking out any reruns on the Zone-Horror channel (which is brilliant).
Score: 6/10
The International: Wasn’t impressed in the slightest. To me it was just another “multinational organisation controls every part of your life” film where only one guy can bring them down… and after the end, you realise it’s all fruitless!!! Loads of cheesy clichéd lines and have never really rated Naomi Watts, Clive Owen’s OK, but has been pretty much typecast as his ‘girtty-man-with-shady-past’ guise… Only saving grace was the shoot-up in the Guggenheim museum – which explained why the exhibit was so gash!!
Score: 5/10
The Fall: Watched this gem yesterday and was totally blown away! The look, style and feel of the film are amazing and worth the price of the DVD alone. Some reviews slate the story for being weak, but when a film looks as mind-blowingly good as this, most will. Shot in over 20 countries and dozens more outstanding locations; it took approx 4 years to make. I would say is that it must be watched on a huge television to get the full effect – and on Blu-Ray / HD is possible. The story is pretty basic: a guy in hospital tells a girl a story of 5 heroes and their quest to kill a baddie. It’s a bit slow at times, but both the ‘present’ story and the fable itself are good, and nearly all of the actors pull out top-drawer performances – especially the young girl.
Score: 9.5/10
In Bruges: Picked this up on the cheap from HMV yesterday and watched it straight away. One word: Brilliant. Lots of very dark comedy, although you could easily relate to the characters as they were pretty believable. Plenty of funny twists and turns and it’s got some serious subject matter too. To top it all off the scenery is great – makes you really want to go there. Don’t know whether it was the Belgian connection or just the insight of a hitman but it REALLY reminded me of a more upbeat Man Bites Dog, which is no bad thing.
Score: 9/10
Quantum of solace: Had its good and bad bits.
Overall it could (and should) have been brilliant but you get the feeling they’re trying to make it too realistic, especially with the lack of gadgets, cars, EVIL villains, and bikini-clad wimin’ everywhere. The writer’s seem to have forgotten than this is what made bond great.
Score: 6/10
24 Redemption: It was pretty good. Bit strange not having it set in LA, but made for a decent change. Favourite part was his rambo moment in the trees! That was phenomenal(ly funny). Not mentioning country names also leads to this being set in the mysterious African region of Sengala. Tee’d up season 7 brilliantly by introducing a new host of cannon fodder characters… except TONY ALMEDA! Only complaint was that there was a lot going on in the space of two hours. Thought they could have used the feature to break from real-time and get some location madness on the go.
Score: 7/10
Iron Man: takes far, FAR, too long to get in to the good stuff, although I guess it’s good to build up the characters a bit. Downey Jr plays his role pretty well, although it’s the typecast of himself he’s been playing for decades. For an action film there wasn’t actually that much action, and what there was wasn’t amazing / memorable. The bad-guys aren’t particularly evil or scary. Some good jokes peppered through the film. Spent the whole film waiting to hear the intro of the Ozzy version of Iron Man, but this didn’t happen. Stick around after the credits because there’s a 20 second skit that tees up sequels (and will give all Marvel fans a hard-on). Finally, when he’s flying, his posture is similar to that of a transvestite / drag queen – i.e. not very super-hero like. All in all, after looking at a few review sites online I can not believe I’ve not seen any particularly bad ones as it’s NOT an amazing superhero film like Batman Gegins, Spiderman 1/2 or X-Men.
Score: 6/10.
Paragraph Film Reviews 