The Bodyguard: so-called action flick featuring Thailand’s smallest and tubbiest gravity-defying bodyguard – definitely not the ’92 Costner / Houston affair! A few familiar faces from ‘Ong-Bak’ make up the main cast – including a Tony Jaa cameo – although this is nowhere as good a movie. Despite being made in 2004 it feels uncannily like classic ’80s cheese; slow-motion shots, terminally cheap music, and some of the most ridiculous and least funny pantomime-esque ‘humour’ I’ve seen. It’s camper than a row of tents, contains a bizarrely high level of foul language, and doesn’t say much about the intelligence of Thai people. The few action scenes are the only redeeming feature of this, in particularly some nifty moves and set pieces. The film focuses more on a millionaire’s love conquest over the actual bodyguard – title FAIL. Feels more like a bunch of mates making a b-movie than the action / wire-fu movie it’s promoted as. Best stick with Ong Bak / Warrior King etc.

Score: 3/10