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Tag Archives: stereotypes

District 13: Ultimatum – It’s slightly further away in the near future and something’s still rotten in Denmark Paris as bent cops, politicians and corrupt gangs continue to take advantage of the everyman! This ups the ante from District 13, opening with a the supercop – in drag – pulling off a 20-minute-long mind-bendingly intricate bust – capturing baddies and fighting his way out of a triad/yakuza heavy restaurant. Everything about the action is bigger, better, harder, faster and more creative than the first film (fight scene with the painting is so cool). I’d also like to point out some of the most hardcore stuntmen I’ve seen in all my years, hat’s of to those guys. Despite bigger stunts, bigger swat teams, bigger explosions and so on, this doesn’t really hit the mark as the socio-political commentary totally smothers the film, and it’s so, so cheesy this time round; especially when all of the rivaling gangs unite to bring down ‘the man‘ – Bleurgh! In saying this, scenes like the +50 Urban ninjas scaling elaborate walls and storming a political embassy are still great to watch. It has some good bits but this really does feel like a sequel for the sake of a sequel – only worth catching for the sensational action sequences.

Score: 4/10

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Crank: holy-shit… has pretty much won the “worst film I’ve seen all year” title already. It’s like someone polled the nuts and zoo readers asking the ‘100 things you’d most like to see in a film’, then tried to link them all together, but failed – epically. Someone obviously put ‘Latino Gangsters’ because our old pal Noel Gugliemi made another appearance as the ultimate typecast! More like watching someone play Grand Theft Auto than a film. Full of: bad product placement, terrible acting, mostly pointless scenes and rubbish stereotypes. I’d almost slipped into a coma by the end of it. Less substance than a low-budget porno… avoid like the plague.

Score: 0.1/10 (only because there’s 1 boob)