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Spring Breakers Bikini Hot Pants Cutoffs Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James Franco

Spring Breakers: to fund their Spring Break, a ‘curvaceous quartet’ of gals rob a diner, which leads them to a decadent gangbanger rapper called “Alien”. Not one to watch with your parents, this opens with some terrible dubstep, and bikini babes partying (and a record-breaking 30 seconds ‘til the first slow-motion beer-covered tiddies). Despite being so sensational in parts the runtime hopscotches between a) surreal mix of “poignant & brilliant coming-of-age moments” (some of the most authentic-feeling ‘college girl’ insights) and b) “handheld/realistic/hedonistic Girls-Gone-Wild-type shenanigans”. It uses a very peculiar – non-standard – cinematic language that takes a while to tune in to; feeling almost dream-like, or stream-of-consciousness. Something more akin to a music video or (trying my hardest not to sound like a wanker here) “Liquid narrative”. There’s a heavily saturated / neon-drenched / golden hour colour palette that bumps already strong imagery up to the next level. Although it sells the film short; Spring Breakers feels like Michael Bay, Gaspar Noe, and Nicolas Winding Refn (content, narrative, cinematography respectively) got together to create a subversive alternative to the coming-of-age genre. The pairing of director Korine and legendary cinematographer Benoít Debie has produced something so sensorial and peculiar that it’s impossible to articulate. Is Spring Breakers a great film? Doubtful. Is it an important film? Possibly. Is it an interesting film? You bechurass it is!

Score: 7/10

Spring Breakers Neon Dock Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James FrancoSpring Breakers Bikini Arrest Handcuffs Cops Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James FrancoSpring Breakers Balaclava Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James FrancoSpring Breakers Bikini Line Up Bra Panties Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James FrancoSpring Breakers Title Card Neon Poster Logo Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James FrancoSpring Breakers Bikini Court Arrest Harmony Korine, Benoît Debie, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Rachel Korine, James Franco

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Bad Santa: An alcoholic deviant and his pint-sized sidekick pose as Santa and an Elf for a seasonal job; they then plunder the mall they’ve been working at, but can an 8 year old show them the real meaning of Christmas? BBT is superb at playing a senseless degenerate and all round terrible person, but no matter how low he stoops the scrooge in all of us still connects. With any other Santa, the Kid (Brett Kelly) would have been the star, pulling off a shockingly good junior Rainman. Then there’s the Dwarf, Mall Manager and Security guard… all great characters. For a festive film, this one’s as smutty as they get, sex, swearing, conmen, booze, strippers, blood, violence for the duration… The dwarf’s insults in particular are pure entertainment – great to listen to. The film’s backbone is some fantastic deadpan humour & black comedy, championed by a few recurring lines; shit right for a week, fix a sandwich, etc. It’s well made, well written, well paced, with well measured and well timed jokes. While it’s an anti-Christmas film, it’s still quite festive and uplifting towards the end. Great holiday movie, but don’t watch it with the kids.

Score: 8/10

Merry fuckin’ Christmas!