Ratatoulie: not as good as other pixar offerings and a pretty textbook story: misunderstood animal / robot has to change attitudes and be accepted for one life passion – succeeds. Entertaining, but more for the kids than films like Toy Story
Score: 6/10
Juno: 3rd/4th time round, but still very enjoyable. Really like the quirky indie feel, despite the relatively established cast and the director shoving his ‘cooler-than-you’ influences in all over the place. Great story, although it totally glorifies teen pregnancy to the maxxx!
Score: 8/10
Vanishing Point: drug-fuelled car delivery across America in an ol’ Ford, but unless you love films where it’s just about cars and chases… you probably won’t take much from this. If you like funky soul music from the early 70’s it would make the film even better! Hasn’t really dated well (‘nam, hippies and homophobia) and the plot’s very thin, as are the characters and dialogue. Some OK car stunts redeem it, but it’ll always be just a ‘cult’ film.
Score: 4/10
Street Kings: a crime-drama from some of the guys that brought us the crime-dramas Training Day, Harsh Times & S.W.A.T – you kind of know what you’re getting! Keanu Reeves may as well have been a bit of timber with a face drawn on (again) but the rest of the cast were pretty good – Forrest Whittaker in particular. The story twists and turns along at a good pace, and keeps you thoroughly entertained throughout. Also, couldn’t feature a Latino gang without Noel Gugliemi: possibly the most obvious typecast ever! Exceeded my expectations…
Score: 8/10
The bucket list: two terminal cancer patients try and have fun with their remaining time on earth… sound cheery? It’s actually quite a good film. Seeing two heavyweight actors (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) play off each other is something else, but why oh why is Freeman always cast as an omniscient black man!?!? He’s the new ultimate typecast. Pretty daft story, but a good pick-me-up with some amazing scenery although it’s quite a slow-burner.
Score: 6.5/10
Forgetting Sarah Marshal: utter gash – although it’s the main guy who’s naked way more than is forgivable! Predictable, rubbish and not really funny – even the cast from better films like Superbad / Tropic Thunder etc couldn’t save this. Switched off after 20 minutes.
Score: 1/10 (only because there’s some tits)
3:10 to Yuma: arguably two of our generation’s finest actors (Bale / Crowe) play a law-abiding rancher and a notorious outlaw respectively. Initially, I thought they’d work better cast the other way but was absolutely blown away by both performances. The story moves along brilliantly and from start to finish the film is full of action, drama and brilliant characters – both main and the supporting cast. Unfortunately, the ending’s a wee bit far-fetched, but adds even more depth to one of the main roles. A must-see film!
Score: 9/10
Once: lo-fi film touted as a ‘love story musical’ done on the cheap centered around an Irish busker and a Czech immigrant. The artsy-fartsy crowd will love this film although personally I thought it was average, looks cheap (almost like a documentary) and the tunes were pretty rubbish & whiney. A few good nuggets of humour was the only thing that stopped me from turning this off.
Score:4/10
Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy: only really watched this because of the ace title and it was worse than anything I ever imagined could pass as a film, even by Troma and ZoneHorror standards!!!! Tried to be like a Russ Meyer film… and failed. Tried to be a bit of a kinky film (nazis, whips, girl fighting etc)… and failed. Tried to have a bit of gore… and failed. Was supposed to be a hospital full of nymphs… AND FAILED!!!. Having seen more than my fair share of b-movies I’m kind of tolerant to them but this was one of the worst film I’ve ever seen!
Score: 1/10
American Pie 2: I can sum it up in one word, nostalgia! Pretty funny and enjoyable film that most people can relate to and still holds itself against most of the pish being released these days – made even better by the gratuitous spattering of über-hot nude babes. The soundtrack is absolutely top-notch, although the CD only has about 1/3 the total songs from the film. Unfortunately the later installments of the franchise are more than gash!
Score: 7/10
Wasabi: 2001 French-Japanese flick by Luc Besson that didn’t really know what kind of film it wanted to be. Touted as an action film, but there weren’t any proper fights ’til over an hour in, and what little action there was looked ridiculous (like a surreal manga adaptation). Was supposed to be a cop film, but was more like a parody of the naked gun, which is already a parody. The story was very thin and the acting’s pretty weird as the cast all play horrible stereotypes. On the other hand it looks pretty good. Definitely a case of style over substance (the default audio track is dubbed English!) but worth a look if you like Besson’s stuff. Would put it in the same category as the original Taxi or a crap re-make of Black Rain!!!
Score: 6/10
Lives of others: retrospectively reviewing this – I caught this in the Belmont in ’07 and was totally surprised. Only negative point was that I thought it was a bit long – in saying this, to get the characters deep and keep the plot detailed you couldn’t really cut much out. Great shame that the lead detective (main character) Ulrich Mühe died not long after the films scooped all the awards… brilliant swansong for him!
Score: 8/10
I Spit on Your Grave: much like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre this film has global notoriety for being one of the most graphic films ever, banned for 20 years, heavily edited etc etc. And much like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre the original cut is one of the biggest let-downs ever… just pure crap, and the audio track is appalling! Not worth wasting any time or money on this.
Score: 1/10
Intacto: This Spanish gem was much better than I remembered first time round. Based around the idea of luck, and how it can be stolen, it’s kind of like The Cooler – only it doesn’t suck ass. Max Von Snydow puts on a great performance, as do the rest of the crew. Good, original, thriller although I expect that it’ll be butchered by Hollywood in the coming years now that they’ve ran out of ideas.
Score: 8/10
Note: If you do like intacto (or films about luck / gambling / underground betting) another great film to check out is 13 Tzameti. Check out the original before the US re-make comes out…
Heroic Duo: Anoher Hong-Kong cop film, but this time not so good. 1/2 psychological thriller (it’s about hypnotists) and half action film (every piece of Glass / Car / Minor Character gets fucked up). Last third of the film is pretty gash, and it’s so cheesy it goes way beyond believable.
Score: 6/10
One night in Mongcock: the film follows a rookie hitman in the most densely-populated area in the world (Mongcock). It’s a pretty good story, the police hunting a hitman, who’s hunting a triad gangbanger… so it’s pretty cat-and-mouse through the film. More drama than action though, with some awesome edge-of-your-seat suspense moments, and the typical dose of Asian symbolism and unethical policing chucked in for good measure! Decent enough film.
Score: 7/10
Cowboy Bepbop (The Movie): Watched this film for the umpteenth time to test a 5.1 surround sound and it definitely does the trick! Could easily be considered as a demo disc for a multi-speaker set up. The story’s ace, animation’s quite good and all of the jazz / blues music is immense. Not as good as the series but definitely worth a looky!
Score: 7/10
Romanzo Criminalé: Set in Italy during the 70s/80s this film follows the rise (and fall) of a notorious crime gang in Rome – including their links with fascists and the government. It starts with lots of fast-paced action but after about an hour turns into the usual downfall / betrayal stories associated with gang films. It’s along the same lines as Goodfellas & Godfather and if you can stick it out to the end – almost 3 hours – it’s a pretty good film. Acting’s top drawer, the story’s pretty epic and the location (and retro Italy backdrop) are all fairly convincing.
Score: 8/10
Flash Point: The story was pretty much a dumbed down version of the Departed (which is a dumbed down version of the Infernal Affairs Trillogy!) but it was easy to watch as it didn’t really make you think. The best thing about this film was the non-stop ass-kicking fight scenes scattered throughout, that culminate in a HUGE 20 minute action scene. The combat is all pretty realistic and based on Mixed Martial Arts. After watching some of the features the reason it’s so good was that they drafted 5 legendary fighters to help choreograph and film the action. It’s pretty much a Tony Jaa film, but not as cheesy and far more life-like. Well worth buying / renting / lovefilming if you like your action flicks.
Score: 8/10
Reykjavik 101: Had this DVD for yonks and finally got round to watching it. Labeled as a ‘hillarious black comedy’ it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs, but had a few good lines / scenes. The plot follows a suicidal loser, who’s mum comes out of the closet and he’s forced to change his ways – but only after he accidentally pumps his mum’s girlfriend. Film looks good and the story’s not exactly clichéd. Some of the scenery and general feel you get of Iceland is worth watching it for alone. Good, but not quite on par with the awkward dark comedy films of Todd Solondz (Welcome to the dollhouse, happiness etc) – which I think it was trying to achieve.
Score: 6.5/10
Red Road: at the weekend and really enjoyed it. It’s about a Glaswegian CCTV operator – an unusual filming location, and probably made it more interesting for a Scot to be watching it. Top drawer acting from most involved and the story really draws you in as the film progresses, leaving you guessing a lot ’til the end. In true Scottish cinema style, it doesn’t really portray us in a great light, but is worth picking up! Only after watching this did I realise that Lars Von Trier was involved in the concept and, in his style, it’s going to be a trilogy.
Score: 8/10
(On a Scottish Cinema theme, Sweet Sixteen is also a brilliant film.)
PRIMER: This is, without a doubt, the best – and most original Sci-Fi film I’ve ever seen. Puts every other time-travel story to shame and is so complex that it took me about 3 viewings to fully comprehend everything that went on because they make no attempt to dumb it down (honestly thought I had learning difficulties after watching it the first time!) Can’t say much else without giving away the plot etc, but considering the low budget, mind-bending physics and solid story… this is a must-see. I’ve watched it about ten times now and it’s still great to watch!
Score: 9/10
The Kite Runner: I tried my hardest to watch this but it was just too boring and slow to finish. The kid actors were alright but the pace totally killed my interest after 45 mins – first film I’ve switched off in ages!
Score: 2/10
UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine: Only watched this ‘military experiment gone wrong’ flick because Michael Madsen was in the line-up. Another pretty good b-movie boasted by Zone Horror. Loads of fake gore and the typical stereotypes of society getting into trouble… worth a look, but wouldn’t go out of my way to buy it!
Score: 4/10
Pterodactyl: a B-movie starring none other than everyone’s favourite foul-mouthed z-list rapper… COOLIO! Given the opening credits, cast and the fact that I’d never heard of this (because it was straight-to-TV!!!) I had braced myself for the worst! In the end it was actually an ace creature feature, with not bad special effects. Loads of goofs and WTF moments, but that’s what you want from a cheap horror film. Clichéd, but definately worth checking out any reruns on the Zone-Horror channel (which is brilliant).
Score: 6/10
The International: Wasn’t impressed in the slightest. To me it was just another “multinational organisation controls every part of your life” film where only one guy can bring them down… and after the end, you realise it’s all fruitless!!! Loads of cheesy clichéd lines and have never really rated Naomi Watts, Clive Owen’s OK, but has been pretty much typecast as his ‘girtty-man-with-shady-past’ guise… Only saving grace was the shoot-up in the Guggenheim museum – which explained why the exhibit was so gash!!
Score: 5/10
The Fall: Watched this gem yesterday and was totally blown away! The look, style and feel of the film are amazing and worth the price of the DVD alone. Some reviews slate the story for being weak, but when a film looks as mind-blowingly good as this, most will. Shot in over 20 countries and dozens more outstanding locations; it took approx 4 years to make. I would say is that it must be watched on a huge television to get the full effect – and on Blu-Ray / HD is possible. The story is pretty basic: a guy in hospital tells a girl a story of 5 heroes and their quest to kill a baddie. It’s a bit slow at times, but both the ‘present’ story and the fable itself are good, and nearly all of the actors pull out top-drawer performances – especially the young girl.
Score: 9.5/10
In Bruges: Picked this up on the cheap from HMV yesterday and watched it straight away. One word: Brilliant. Lots of very dark comedy, although you could easily relate to the characters as they were pretty believable. Plenty of funny twists and turns and it’s got some serious subject matter too. To top it all off the scenery is great – makes you really want to go there. Don’t know whether it was the Belgian connection or just the insight of a hitman but it REALLY reminded me of a more upbeat Man Bites Dog, which is no bad thing.
Score: 9/10
Quantum of solace: Had its good and bad bits.
Overall it could (and should) have been brilliant but you get the feeling they’re trying to make it too realistic, especially with the lack of gadgets, cars, EVIL villains, and bikini-clad wimin’ everywhere. The writer’s seem to have forgotten than this is what made bond great.
Score: 6/10
24 Redemption: It was pretty good. Bit strange not having it set in LA, but made for a decent change. Favourite part was his rambo moment in the trees! That was phenomenal(ly funny). Not mentioning country names also leads to this being set in the mysterious African region of Sengala. Tee’d up season 7 brilliantly by introducing a new host of cannon fodder characters… except TONY ALMEDA! Only complaint was that there was a lot going on in the space of two hours. Thought they could have used the feature to break from real-time and get some location madness on the go.
Score: 7/10
Paragraph Film Reviews 