Valkyrie

Valkyrie: There’s only one WWII movie faux pas that’s more insulting than Nazis “Telking Leik Zeis” amongst each other, and that’s Nazis that speak full-blown “Jolly good, tally ho” English – especially Adolf Hitler. Listen out for American and Irish accents in the mix too. What’s more infuriating is that they type, read and sing in German to make it more ‘authentic‘!  Accents aside the dialogue’s pretty naff, and predictable – not unlike a 60s/70s WWII movie you’d see on TV through the day. There were also too many scenes with dozens of similar uniforms and names to keep on top of. A stumpy Tom Cruise doesn’t really set the world on fire, and Bill Knighty was the only real standout for me. There are some good moments when the tension builds up, but that’s about all this had going for it. Until I saw this I wouldn’t have thought that such a major, and potentially exciting, chapter of history could be so boring – especially when it’s marketed as ‘action packed’.

Score: 3/10

5 comments
  1. Castor said:

    I agree it was a disappointing film. Just not much to see here.

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  2. Heidi said:

    I couldn’t agree more. Couldn’t they at least fake German accents? I mean… they are actors.
    I like the concept of your one paragraph reviews!

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  3. yeah, i love the Cruiser, but this was just dreary as hell
    man, youve been reviewing some shite films lately Paragraph

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    • Paragraph Film Reviews said:

      Got to take the rough with the smooth… and there ain’t been that much smooth on my telly lately. I’ll make sure the next review is a good ‘un for you!

      Like

  4. Marc said:

    Bad accents aside this movie wasn’t terrible but I probably won’t see it again. And call me crazy but the way this built itself, you kinda wish it had the ending as intended as opposed to the actual historical end of the Valkyrie mission.

    Sure would have been fun if they did it the way Quentin Tarantino did with IB…would have been a lot cooler if they did:)

    Like

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