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Monthly Archives: September 2009

Evil Aliens

September 30, 2009
Film Reviews
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Evil Aliens: from the opening abduction scene you know this film’s going to be staple b-movie territory: social stereotypes, urban legend, broken down vehicle, drugs etc… The one thing this film does better than the rest is Gore, by the bucketload. Limbs, blood and guts fly around for the duration and there’s at least a dozen blood-facials – I’ve not seen gore on this scale since Braindead! It looks and feels like a mix between a Welsh Independence Day and a Slipknot music video, yet it’s shot and mixed pretty well. The story oscillates between disturbing and ridiculous, but it’s totally watchable and never makes you cringe, coupled with the gratuitous smattering of babes and it’s a winner. Pretty generic story but it’s saved by the gore and the humour – definitely one of the better B-movies.

Score: 5/10

Away We Go

September 29, 2009
Film Reviews
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Away We Go: indie-feeling (but big-budget) love and road flick about a mid-30s ‘loser’ couple that are soon to be parents, in search of the perfect place for their kid to grow up in. While it doesn’t sound like much, there are two things that won me over: the fantastic script and the excellent blend of comedy, drama and offbeat characters. The acting’s of a pretty high standard, tugging at the heart-strings a few times. There’s some genuinely funny slapstick scenes but some of the more subtle lines delivered the biggest belly laughs. A couple of questions could be asked – like how can they afford their trip – but the only big flaw is that I’ll never see Maggie Gylenghall as the saucy secretary again. The ending feels a tad premature, but it’s a damn good story nonetheless. Definitely worth a watch.

Score: 8/10

Hallam Foe

September 28, 2009
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Hallam Foe: psychological profile of a teenage voyeur two years after his mum suspiciously killed herself. Bell plays a believable rogue nutter, and the rest of the cast aren’t that bad at all. There’s no doubting that this tried to be a totally ‘Scottish’ film, especially given all the shady characters and coarse dialogue. The story however is far too convenient, unrealistic, randy and plain old weird. In doing this, the film ends up being a fiction piece, as opposed to believable, which ruins it a bit. It’s not garbage, but certainly isn’t great. The main problem I have with ‘Scottish films’ (this, Shallow grave, Trainspotting, Red Road, Sweet Sixteen…) is that they almost always present all Scots as violent/murderous raging alcoholics that will pump anything. Overall, it’s interesting, but don’t go out of your way to get this.

Score: 5/10

The Nines

September 27, 2009
Film Reviews
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The Nines: 2007 ‘thriller’/mindfuck about a computer programmer, screen-writer and actor who are all connected in some way. It comes out of the blocks as a junkie-flick like ‘Spun’ and the rest of the first episode’s like a cheap soap with some of the cheesiest background music in history, then a documentary, then a TV movie, then a computer game… Reynold’s acting is also either a) a solid job at making the film a bit surreal, or b) so crap, he makes the film feel surreal. I think – and really hope – it’s the former. The main attraction of this film was that it’s a proper ‘thinker’. In the same vein as Waking Life and Primer you need to do a bit of thinking in to ‘get it’, otherwise it won’t make any sense. 2 days later, I’m still trying to figure it out… but that’s the attraction for me. Not the most polished piece of cinema, but definitely pushing boundaries.

Score: 7/10

The Bank Job

September 25, 2009
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The Bank Job: although the actual Bank job is finished within the hour, after that everything goes ‘Pete Tong’ and the 20-odd main, and shallow, characters all come together in a poor Lock-Stock fashion. It’s also the classic Hollywood version of Britain, where every man’s a wheelin’ & dealin’ geezer and everyone , including the royal family, are sex’d up to the maxxx – tits are pretty much the first thing you see. Jason Statham, as always, is grittier than a pocked of sand, but not superhuman for a change. Didn’t once feeling anything for any of the characters, but neither did the cast as they threw a party at the end; despite 1/2 of their crew getting killed! There’s also a cracking Ronnie Barker look-a-like. It’s a watchable stereotypical vapid Brit-flick but really only stuck it out because it’s all based on real rumours.

Score: 4/10

The Departed

September 23, 2009
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The Departed: modern twisty cop tragedy based on a Hong Kong trilogy and set in Boston; which tees up some of the worst crimes against accents in modern cinema – the foxy psychiatrist being the biggest offender. There’s a lot of ‘hard’ and seemingly strange cuts & edits, with some amateur-looking camerawork in places (although it won Best Picture / Best Editing Academy Awards: so it must just be me!). Despite these foibles you still get absolutely immersed courtesy of the superstar cast and phenomenal story. Walberg’s rage and Nicholson’s insanity are especially great to watch, although all the mains put on a noteworthy show. The soundtrack’s also used brilliantly to get you more involved in the scenes, and the last hour of this film is pure cinema gold, with drama and twists all over the shop! It’s a great film, and if you liked this a lot it’s 100% worth watching the original ‘Infernal Affairs’ trilogy. It won’t do Boston tourism, or the Irish, any favours…

Score: 8/10

Volver

September 22, 2009
Film Reviews
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Volver: borderline surreal movie that tells the story of a Spanish family going through some rough times. It would be impossible to watch this film and not notice that it’s pretty much a showcase of Penelope Cruz (and her magnificent chest). Despite this her performance is stellar as she leads the cast cast, once again proving that Spanish-language films truly bring out the best in her. The film’s shot brilliantly, and the vibrant colours and great cinematography really bring another dimension – the Blu Ray would be great. There’s a lot of over-acting, almost to soap opera level, and as the story progresses it gets less believable to the point where the drama isn’t effective. Some great dialogue and black comedy moments throughout too. All-in, it’s very Spanish and unmistakably Almaldovar, which is by no means a bad thing; although it’s not quite his best. Definitely worth watching.

Score: 7/10

The Take

September 10, 2009
TV
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The Take: based on a Martina Cole novel, this was a 4 part mini-series following the two Gangsters as they rise through the London criminal underworld. From the outset (Kassabian theme song, stock gangster names, and violence accompanied by lame gags) you know it’s not going to be high-brow entertainment. It’s full of over-acting, terrible cockney accents and generic geezers that you’d associate with Danny Dyer / Guy Ritchie films. It started in the early 1980s and ended mid-90’s, leapfrogging months or years at a time, sometimes with little indication. Despite this it was shot well, the original music was great, had moments of drama and although it was fairly predictable, the story does keep you watching. The settings and props were also spot-on. They tried to make it smarter as smart as they could, but it still turned out to be a middle-of-the-road, sensationalised crime tale.

Score: 5/10

Burn After Reading

September 8, 2009
Film Reviews
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Burn After Reading: black comedy from the Coen brothers about a bunch of exceptionally dumb people going through their mid-life crises; adult-themed hilarity ensues. More than anything this film’s great for letting us see long established actors like Brad Pitt / George Clooney playing absolute idiots. Pitt is especially funny, playing an air-head who’s sheer idiocy ensures he commands every scene he’s in. The plot seems fairly absurd until the last half hour when it comes together nicely, and the CIA meetings between JK Simmons and David Rasche are phenomenal. It’s technically sound, but above the comedy there’s not much else on offer. Coen fans will definitely love this but unless you like or ‘get’ black comedy it will probably just seem like a failed Adam Sandler-esque film. The fantastic cast definitely keep this film watchable.

Score: 7/10