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Monthly Archives: August 2009

The Wire

August 27, 2009

The Wire: summing this up in a paragraph is criminal, but I’ll give it a go. Written as, and plays out like, a rewarding volume of books. Most recurring characters are fully developed, believable, flawed, yet admirable in one way or another – watching their individual journeys over the seasons is brilliant. It peaks in Seasons 2 & 3, but don’t write off 1, 4 and 5 because they are still well above par! Upon finishing the last season you’ll literally feel a large void in your life. Having watched it twice round it’s the only show I’ve seen where things mentioned in Season 1 aren’t significant ’til further down the line – as late as season 5. If anything, it’s more rewarding on the 2nd viewing. Because you have to pay attention, it’s not for absolutely everyone, and it may take a few episodes to get you hooked, but is definitely one of the most rewarding and enjoyable things you’ll have the privilege of watching. It’s realistic, the acting’s great, storylines are epic, technically sound and the police methods are so real that actual gangsters watch the Wire to learn surveillance techniques. If you haven’t seen this yet, do yourself a favour and pick it up. I know for a fact that this will become known as one of the greatest TV shows ever made.

Score: 9.5/10

Battleship Potemkin

August 27, 2009

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Battleship Potemkin: 1925 silent movie about a bunch of sailors getting mutinous on their cap’n after being served bad soup. After seeing this, it will be a long time before you forget the striking photography: plate-smashing, ques of people, ominous cannons, religious bashing, dead sailor and so on. Perhaps the most famous scene in cinematic history – the Odessa steps massacre – is worth watching the film for and, despite studying and having seen dozens of times, it still makes me feel uneasy. It’s a great shame that the rest of the film doesn’t reach this standard! For its time, and as a work of art Potemkin was decades ahead and is credited as the original use of the now-common ‘montage’ technique. However, as a story it’s essentially an ultra-embellished propaganda film, that’s not the easiest to watch due to pivotal and symbolic scenes being dragged out and over-emphasised. I’d recommend this film to anyone, but would advise them to read a little about Eisenstein and Russia in the early 1900’s to contextualise it.

Score: 5/10

Stag Knight

August 27, 2009

StagKnight: over the top 2007 British ‘black’ comedy horror about a stag party’s midnight paintball session and a murderous knight, awoken from a deadly slumber. Off the bat the film is laden with obvious jokes, bad accents, truly bizarre scenes, and some of the worst costumes you’ll ever see in a feature length… so far, so b-movie. There’s a diverse crew of stereotypes (mod, punk, nerd, Asian, wigger, fatty, wimp, hero, etc, etc), and despite being an 18 the gore’s kept to a minimum, with the majority of violence being suggested off screen. Despite it’s pitfalls the film looks very professional, with great audio and video – especially given that it’s almost entirely filmed in the dark: almost unheard of in this genre! Because of this it’s one of the few b-movies I’d have not felt ripped off by if I’d paid to see it at a cinema. It’s definitely horror for the ‘lads’ / sun readers, although it’s an admirable attempt.

Score: 4/10

Omega Man

August 26, 2009

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Omega Man: follows the last man on earth as he fends off a bunch of afro’d albino druids whilst trying to find a cure for their condition. You can watch it as a simple horror film, but there’s more to it that meets the eye, with the most obvious theme being the cold war: ‘the family’ vs 1 man with his gadgets, cars and fancy trickery. There’s also messages about race, morality, Christianity and the biological warfare in there too if you scratch below the film’s surface. Fitting with his embodiment of the USA (and NRA figurehead) Heston is heavily armed throughout, as well as being ever-topless despite not being too buff. All-in, the acting, storyline, music and characters are all so surreal and camp that it’s hard to feel any horror / terror, although in the context of when it was made it would have definitely played on the contemporary fears. It’s watchable but really, really cheesy.

Score: 6/10

Zombie Town

August 25, 2009

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Zombie Town: staple zombie-flick from 2007 where zombies and bodysnatchers-esque slugs set their sights on an isolated redneck American town – a gorey mess ensues and the B-movie genre lives on! Blood, check. Gore, check. Brains, Check. Pseudo-scientist, Check. Random boobs, check. Zombie lovers will have seen this kind of film a dozen times now and it’s not the best example. Not really worth watching, so spare yourself the trauma unless you’re hell-bent on seeing every zombie film ever made… or really need some party fodder.

Score: 2/10

Gomorra

August 24, 2009

Gomorra: Italian crime film that half follows a young chav, tailor, ‘businessman’, two youths and mid-level gangster – who are all vaguely linked by “the war” (between rival wannabe mafioso gangs). Sounded good, and the trailer made it look like an epic, but it wasn’t the case. Because all the main characters share the screen you never have enough time to connect to them, which makes you feel nothing but indifference. I literally spent the latter half of the film contemplating whether or not to turn it off, and trying to figure when it would all come together – which it never really did. The soundtrack’s crammed with terrible Euro Dance & Pop. This film would have been better if I i) had Italian heritage, ii) was interested in Italian life, iii) wanted to know how not to be a gangster or run a crime ring. Totally underwhelming.

Score: 3/10

Tokyo Zombie

August 19, 2009

Tokyo Zombie: keeping Japan’s offbeat fascination with the undead ‘alive’, this black comedy is tagged as ‘Japan’s Shaun of the Dead’. Basically, it’s a movie of two halves; the first of which is pretty funny, dark, entertaining and has some top comedy violence. The second half is boring and full of poor drama, with the last 15 minutes perking up again. In true Japanese style weird, irrelevant and perverse subjects crop up throughout, and it’s got a similar look and feel to the ‘Happiness of the Katakuris’. There’s a few glimmers of good acting through the ridiculous scenes, a couple of great long takes, and a few awesome J-punk riffs in the soundtrack. Because it peeks too early I’d check this out if you were in to your Japanese films already, but wouldn’t use this as an introduction to Asian cinema.

Score: 5.5/10

Inglorious Bastards

August 18, 2009

Inglorious Bastards: original ‘B-movie’ version of the new Tarantino release. First big shock was how good the quality of everything was – other than the script! It didn’t feel much like a B-movie, more like the epic war films you’d see on TV in the afternoon. Film quality, locations, action shots and sets were all well above par. It’s been tagged as an ‘exploitation’ film, but it’s really just trashy and naff, with some risqué scenes involving black soldiers, Nazis and gratuitous unrelated boobs. The first hour of the film is a bit disjointed, but the train plot keeps everything sane. You’ve got to love how everyone jumps out of cars / windows / bunkers when they get shot – one guy’s body ascends over 10 feet off the screen! It’s an alright film, but not nearly as gnarly or action-packed as you’d expect (due to a 15 certificate)

Score: 6/10

Haggard

August 17, 2009

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Haggard: Bam Margera and his Jackass / CKY pals make a feature length – sounds stupid? It is, but it’s actually a pretty good effort. Above the stupidity, there’s actually lots of good laughs, gross-outs and funny set-pieces. There’s also a load of skate-superstar cameos throughout the film. The 5.1 mix is unusually heavy on the rear speakers, so all dialogue – loud and soft – is crystal clear, but feels unbalanced. Loads of lame pseudo-music/skate videos to flesh out the running time, which is unnecessary because the film loses it’s way in the last 20 mins. It’s also more watchable than the original CKY videos. It may not go down as a comedy great, but don’t dismiss it on the grounds of it being attached to Jackass because it’s surprisingly good.

Score: 7/10

Paris Lockdown

August 16, 2009

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Paris Lockdown / Truands: an underworld crime film that half follows the ups and downs of two hitmen, as well as a myriad major and minor gang characters. It ticks all the boxes of a gangster type film; money, guns, cars, drugs, wimin’, feuds, violence and so forth. Despite this, the film never really gets going and because there are so many criminals and dealers in the story that you don’t get to know anyone well enough to want them to come out on top. The one thing I learn from this is that in Paris, money talks and nobody gives a shit about anything else! While it’s a good, watchable film, it’s definitely one for the boys – but if you’re wanting a proper continental ‘Goodfellas’ check out Romanzo Criminale instead.

Score: 6/10

Morgana

August 14, 2009

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Morgana: ditsy redneck girl gets mixed up with the wrong crowd in this “voluptuous vampire action film”. This has bad sound, bad music, a bad cast, bad acting, bad stereotypes, bad accents, bad 80s dancing and a very bad description. It’s basically a soft-porno that’s been left in the horror section. They must have spent the entire budget on strippers because there’s tits and slow-motion shagging all over the shop – and even that doesn’t do much for this one. It’s beyond me how guff film ideas like these get funding in the first place. After a bit of research the film’s actually called ‘Blonde Heaven’… Morgana’s a confusing title because it’s never said in the film!?!? Only just better than Crank, but still never worth watching, ever.

Score: 1/10

Metropolis

August 13, 2009

Metropolis: based on drawings from 1949, which were based on Fritz Lang’s epic silent movie – the connection is pretty tedious, and basically boils down to imagery, homage and a lot of fade to blacks. The end product is a strangely watchable blend of classic anime, some basic 3D graphics and one of the most mis-matched soundtracks in cinematic history. It’s definitely great to watch, especially the background, but the story’s pretty rubbish. I remember being amazed by this several years ago, but on re-watching it can’t really see what the fuss was about. The super epic ending definitely saves the film, music n’all. Don’t go out of your way to see it, but if it lands in your lap, do it.

Score: 6/10

Zodiac

August 13, 2009

Zodiac: this is a pretty damn good film. Great story, especially if you’re in to your crime/thriller films. The one thing that stood out for me is the acting, all the main characters are absolutely superb; Gyllenghall and Rufallo especially proving that they’re good enough to be proper leading men & Downy Jr playing his typecast ‘crazy guy’. The only real problem for me was that it wars a touch on the long side, at just under 3 hours, it seems pretty dragged out – which isn’t helped by a slump around the 110 minute mark. Despite this it remains interesting and looks really retro / authentic. It’s also amazing how slow and fragmented old-school investigations were – this will definitely go down as one of the best cop films of the naughties!

Score: 8/10

Adam

August 10, 2009

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Adam: a film about a guy with asperger syndrome who meets his new female neighbour and their time together. Not convinced? Neither was I when I read the synopsis. The director could have made this ultra quirky but generally stayed focused on telling the great story. Aware that it would undoubtedly be compared to Forrest Gump, it even makes a cheeky reference to this. Both leads are outstanding, which makes the film more believable, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were nominated for several awards. Because of Adam’s tendency to take everything at face value, and difficulty to gauge other peoples’ feelings the film has subtle and glaring comedy moments throughout. Look out for Ervin Burrell (the Wire), and Adam himself looks like Mr Prezbo. Despite the realism you do still get the feeling that it romanticises the relationship potential with someone that has aspergers. Not your classical Hollywood Rom-Com, but well worth checking out.

Score: 8/10

The Proposition

The Proposition: would have been far more watchable if there wasn’t so much violence and gore in your face throughout the entire film. Don’t get me wrong, I like my action, but this is a bit much. The story’s simple and had potential to be powerful, but was drawn out and poorly executed. There were no lasting rivalries, little suspense, no shoot-em-up scenes and no deep characters… basically, no staple Western ingredients! Definitely failed to make the most of the superstar cast, Ray Winstone in particular seemed to think he was playing a gangster. Gets a lot of hype because of the hardcore Nick Cave following, but surely such an acclaimed musician should have nailed a better soundtrack! It looks good, and is atmospheric, but if you like westerns you’ll have seen the story before, just never told this poorly, and with so many boring soliloquies.

Score: 4/10

Antichrist

Antichrist: since studying Europa / Zentropa in Uni I’ve made it my business to see all of Lars Von Trier’s films, most of which push the envelope of style and content. This film sees none of his characteristic rules or obstructions in the film-making process, perhaps why there’s not much content and only a couple of memorable scenes. It’s it’s essentially a film too far, and with loads of needless violence, sex and symbolism – it feels like a slow burning ‘Hostel’ or ‘Saw’ flick. Technically it seemed a waste of the mighty Red One cameras used and things like the GCI animals / talking fox are plain absurd. Eden’s cabin and cheap atmospheric music seemed to nod at the Evil Dead series. The acting’s the only redeeming part of this flick, but I suspect this film will be a stain on both their careers. You can tell Von Trier’s depression was severe when he wrote this; uncharacteristically crap!

Score: 2/10

Assembly

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Assembly: an epic Chinese film of one man’s struggle through two wars and his quest for recognition of his fallen soldiers. The first 60 minutes of the film shows 4 battles, 3 of which are so realistic that it makes Private Ryan look like a scouts training exercise – the only downfall is they cranked the ‘shaky cam’ up to advanced Parkinsons level in the first one. Some great suspence sequences leading up to the fights. The second part of the film drags on a little as the story weakens but the acting / cinematography / Chinese scenery keeps it more than watchable – and the ending picks up a bit. It’s brutal but humane, and Zhang Hanyu’s performance is utterly jaw-dropping.

Score: 7.5/10

Run Fatboy Run

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Run Fat Boy Run: the first 20 minutes tee’d the film up nicely but after that it rapidly digressed into an utterly predictable and unfunny folly. Pegg looks out of his depth with drama, and (to be brutal!) doesn’t really have the looks for it. You get the feeling Schwimmer googled ‘Mainstream British Actors’ then ‘Mainstream British Music’ and figured out what he could afford. It’s full of british stereotypes, unoriginal slapstick jokes, and follows an ultra safe, tried-and-tested formula. The film’s easy on the eye because it’s like Hollywood took a trip to London. I just wish I could have ran my marathon with 3 weeks of half-assed training!

Score: 3.5/10

The Savages

The savages: ‘estranged siblings re-onnect as they take care of their ailing father in this Oscar-nominated black comedy’… only it’s not really a black comedy, just plain old grim. Only laughed at one part of this film, the rest of the ‘funnies’ were predictable or potty humour. Couldn’t believe Chris “Hitman” Partlow (from The Wire) played a care worker – casting FAIL! Laura Linney looked like a total milf for the duration. It was well-shot, and brilliantly acted – can’t really go wrong with Seymour-Hoffman. As a drama it ticks a few boxes, although it is a tough watch. However, it just doesn’t cut it as the Todd Solondz-esqué black comedy it was marketed as. Ignore the critics!

Score: 4/10

The Assassination of Jessie James

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The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford: The title pretty much sums up this film – twice as long as it had to be. At 2:40 I thought there’d be a lot to get through… this wasn’t the case… and it took about an hour for the first good bit of story to develop. Genuinely felt that every scene was at least 30 seconds longer than it had to be. Capturing the 1880’s details was done well, but to the point that it was difficult to understand ye olde dialogue. The best thing about the film was the short bursts of narration. Casey Affleck / Pitt did a great job of acting, but Affleck’s whiney voice started grinding my gears after about an hour. There’s also a few great bits of cinematography / imagery. Should have been great, but was mauled by the pace.

Score: 3/10

Chaos

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Chaos (2006): Statham, Snipes and Ryan Philippe playing off each other in a film about a complicated bank robbery. The majority of the film walked a tightrope between brilliant and shit, but it stayed watchable. A twist-o-rama at the end (complete with flashbacks for the terminally stupid) pretty much saves it, although didn’t leave many clues throughout the film to figure it out yourself. The 5.1 surround was great, but the dialogue / action balance was rubbish. It’s OK, but will never make a list of the best cop films ever.

Score: 5/10